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!!Re: [renhai] Re: Winter lines for renhai h line 2

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  • Vaughn Seward
    Hortensia/Zhanna, Hortensia, thank you for your kind words. On a previous post I proposed a one-liner that would combine with the two lines written by you and
    Message 1 of 2 , Jan 2, 2008
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      Hortensia/Zhanna,

      Hortensia, thank you for your kind words. On a previous post I
      proposed a one-liner that would combine with the two lines written by
      you and Zhanna:

      A chilly breeze fills the air. /vs

      ...we now pair this with each of our two one-liners:

      A chilly breeze fills the air - /vs
      Crows perch on ice-glazed branches. /zr

      Skaters at the pond hold hands - /ha
      a chilly breeze fills the air. /vs

      If you are both okay with this, then we can proceed with the next
      stage of writing the other verses in each renhai. I.e.:

      Renhai #1 (Zhanna & Hortensia):
      Crows perch on ice-glazed branches - /zr
      skaters at the pond hold hands /ha

      Renhai #2 (Vaughn & Zhanna):
      A chilly breeze fills the air - /vs
      Crows perch on ice-glazed branches. /zr

      Renhai #3 (Hortensia & Vaughn):
      Skaters at the pond hold hands - /ha
      a chilly breeze fills the air. /vs

      To avoid confusion, it might be best to do each of these in order
      starting with Renhai #1 (Zhanna & Hortensia). I find it works best if
      you choose a theme and then one writer composes a verse and then the
      other composes the second verse.

      Zhanna has indicated (in a previous post) she is okay with this.
      Hortensia, please confirm you are okay too. :-)

      ~Vaughn


      --- In renhai@yahoogroups.com, "Hortensia" <hortense@...> wrote:
      >
      > Zhanna's tweak (and your tweak in our first "renhai")
      > are what poetry lists are all about.
      >
      > Vaughn, you've come up with a challenging form. It
      > seems an explanation of what a haiku is and strikes
      > at the heart of haiku but in poetic form.
      >
      > Thank you both for including me,
      > hortensia
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