Re: Hello From the Pa Ren Faire
- I agree that the first weekend of the faire was great. I was there with a friend of mine, and we're looking to go back again later this month. I'll be sure to look for you there.
- Have you got a link to the rest of this (below) "you know you've
been" joke. The original link in the post is not valid anymore.
If anyone has the full list, I would like to read it.
original message #793
--- In firstname.lastname@example.org, mtnelk wrote:
> You Know You've Been<br> Working Faire Too Long
> When:<br><br><br> By Lance Druger (AKA Singer)<br><br> 1. You go to
> a baseball game and you wonder why the players are
> running the wrong way.<br> 2. You go to an expensive
> French restaurant and ask where the privy is.<br> 3.
> You're surprised when your boogers aren't black.<br> 4.
> You give an important speech to the heads of major
> computer companies... in Basic Faire Accent.<br> 5. You're
> shopping and you ask, "How many pence is this sir?"<br> 6.
> You get in an argument and you yell, "A pox on
> thee!"<br> 7. You think it's good table manners to belch
> loudly.<br> 8. You think of dirt as one of the basic food
> groups. Or at least an essential flavoring
> ingredient.<br> 9. You look at your friends new dog and wonder
> how long it should be cooked.<br> 10. You wonder why
> people wearing shorts aren't being snubbed.<br> 11. You
> see a girl with her hair down and think, "That cheap
> ..."<br> 12. You don't mind going for two days without a
> shower.<br> 13. Someone asks you what you think of their new
> hat and you say, "It's nice dear, but it's not quite
> period."<br> 14. For "political affiliation" on the ballots
> you put the name of your guild.<br> 15. You forget
> how to flush.<br> 16. You greet the privy monster
> when you go to the bathroom.<br> 17. You think of
> Denny's as fine dining.<br> 18. You think the bathroom at
> McDonalds is clean.<br> 19. You feel uncomfortable out of a
> bodice.<br> 20. You can't shake hands without grabbing the
> other persons wrist.<br> 21. You get mugged and tell
> the mugger his cheap Paki dagger is going to
> rust.<br> 22. You call sunscreen "magic potion".<br> 23.
> You can't remember what a synthesizer sounds
> like.<br> 24. All your favorite songs work as a round.<br>
> 25. You can't remember how to use a microwave.<br>
> 26. You go to work and suddenly get this irrational
> fear that you forgot to take your tent down (at many
> faires you have to drop the tents during the<br>
> day).<br> 27. You don't know any of the songs on the
> radio.<br> 28. You only know your best friends faire
> name.<br> 29. You meet someone at a party and start the
> conversation by asking, "What guild are you in?"<br> 30. You
> think it's O.K. to spit water on your friends while
> singing (Sea Dogs).<br> 31. You're about to do laundry,
> and you wonder where the washer women are.<br> 32.
> You have a miniature Green Man in your garden.<br>
> 33. You say, "Gramarcy" instead of thanks.<br> 34.
> You see someone walking down the street in a kilt at
> rush hour, and don't even glance at him.<br> 35. You
> go to the coffee shop and order chai.<br> 36. You
> see someone with a knife and all you can think is,
> "Why isn't that tied in?"<br> 37. You think of sheep
> as a *common* household pet. (or girlfriend in the
> case of Scots :)<br> 38. You need a fix... of fire
> retardant.<br> 39. You get an incredible urge to wrap your
> sneakers in burlap.<br> 40. You try to unbutton your
> pouch... and your not wearing one.<br> 41. You put your
> belt on the middle of your stomach.<br> 42. You bring
> your own tankard to Carls Jr.<br> 43. You wonder why
> your fork has four prongs.<br> 44. Someone asks you to
> read something to them and you play illiterate without
> thinking.<br> 45. Someone asks you the time and you look at the
> sun.<br> 46. Someone asks what you do for a living and you
> tell them your a goat herder.<br> 47. You sign your
> faire name on checks.<br><br>View the rest