Re: [quenya] Digest Number 445
>He he he good one Carl!
> Message: 1
> Date: Thu, 1 Apr 2004 16:54:53 -0500
> From: Carl F. Hostetter <Aelfwine@...>
> Subject: Announcing the Grelvish Linguistical
> FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -- Crofton, Maryland. April 1,
> In a packed multi-media press event, Carl Hostetter,
> head of the former
> Elvish Linguistic Fellowship, stunned the world
> today by announcing
> that he has dissolved the E.L.F., the erstwhile
> organization devoted to the scholarly study of the
> invented languages
> of J.R.R. Tolkien.
> In its place, Hostetter revealed the immediate
> formation of the
> Grelvish Linguistical Fellowship, which he described
> as instead
> dedicated to "making up pretend fairy languages".
> "The whole scholarly thing just wasn't working out,"
> Hostetter noted.
> "Studying Tolkien's writings is, like, really hard
> and stuff, and kind
> of a drag. I mean, all people really wanna do is
> talk in Elvish. Like
> Legolas. He's really cool."
> "But Tolkien just couldn't ever make up his mind!"
> Hostetter continued.
> "And, I mean, he had, like, 50 years to make Elvish
> usable, so it's not
> like he didn't have his chance! And come on, enough
> is enough! These
> Grelvish folks did the job in, like, just a few
> months! So how great
> can Tolkien be, anyways? We're moving on to the real
> In unveiling the G.L.F., Hostetter also introduced
> the complete grammar
> of Grelvish that he had doodled out on a napkin
> while waiting to come
> to the podium. "Tolkien wasted 50 years of his life,
> gallons and
> gallons of ink, and thousands of sheets of paper
> working out the
> 'history' and 'phonology' of languages that no one
> can even speak! I
> mean, what language really _needs_ vowel affection,
> lenition, and
> strong past tenses, anyways?" he asked. "We've got
> your entire language
> right here, and on a stylish line of GLF t-shirts,
> post cards, coffee
> mugs, frisbees, and mouse pads. And we've pared it
> down to just 12
> rules -- 4 less than Esperanto! In your face,
> Zamenhof!", he intoned.
> The move was also accompanied by Hostetter's
> announcement of a
> widely-anticipated G.L.F-branded
> franchise of mall shops, to be called "Iolf a' N�d"
> (Elvish for "Brand
> 'n' Bond").
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