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Re: [quenya] Re: is this right?

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  • Celene Estelle
    hi! I ve checked your translation, it s very nice:) here are some comments: Ar ehtelehtat Mahta-(a)s-Eruve And ransom captive Israel do you mean set free by
    Message 1 of 7 , Dec 14, 2003
      hi!
      I've checked your translation, it's very nice:)
      here are some comments:
           Ar ehtelehtat Mahta-(a)s-Eruve
           And ransom captive Israel
      do you mean "set free" by "ehtelehtat"?
      cos you could use "change"(ahya) maybe....
      in a sense "exchange" - i'm just giving a suggestion
          I yondo Eruo tenna tule
          Until the Son of God appears
      this is very mixed-up, but after reading it twice I got the idea
      if you decide so, you could put "tenna" in a more "usual" position
          A' tule no'lelya Menelve
          O come thou wisdom from on high
      i think "thou" here means you, (even thou) in a sense "you are the wisdom", so no'lelya doesn't represent the idea well
      maybe "elye, no'le"
      then, "from on high" - why menelve?
      i would use Menello
      or have i misunderstood the form?
            Elmenna tie hindeo tana
            To us the path of knowledge show
      that would make "even to us" , don't you like "me"? therefore menna?
      and, where did you find hinde? it's not in my vocab
      if you use some other word, for instance "noleme", you'll need a longer one to keep the rhythm,
      yes, and decide, maybe path of knowledge could be as well expressed by the posessive case
      and the imperative should end in -e, therefore "tane"(?)
           Ar tanalme tieryassen lelya
           And teach us in her ways to go
      i got the feeling that "tanalme" would mean "we teach", i would express "teach us" by "a' tane me" - check the rhythm:))
       
      best wishes with that, have a nice singing;)
      nai Isil siluuva tielyanna
      Celene

      meoiwen8288 <meoiwen8288@...> wrote:
      > Sure.


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    • meoiwen8288
      ... in a sense exchange - i m just giving a suggestion My sole source of vocab is the quenya-english word lists at Ardalambion, and as I found no word for
      Message 2 of 7 , Dec 14, 2003
        --- In quenya@yahoogroups.com, Celene Estelle <watergirlouthere@y...>
        wrote:
        > hi!
        > I've checked your translation, it's very nice:)
        > here are some comments:
        > Ar ehtelehtat Mahta-(a)s-Eruve
        > And ransom captive Israel
        > do you mean "set free" by "ehtelehtat"?
        > cos you could use "change"(ahya) maybe....
        in a sense "exchange" - i'm just giving a suggestion

        My sole source of vocab is the quenya-english word lists at
        Ardalambion, and as I found no word for ransom, I decided
        that "deliver" would fit the context just as well.

        >
        > I yondo Eruo tenna tule
        > Until the Son of God appears
        > this is very mixed-up, but after reading it twice I got the idea
        > if you decide so, you could put "tenna" in a more "usual" position

        Well, as I understood uit from the course, "tenna" was a
        postposition, and should therefore go at the end. But I didn't see
        an obvious rhyme to that, so I moved "tule" to the end. (Gotta love
        how almost every line can end in -e)

        > A' tule no'lelya Menelve
        > O come thou wisdom from on high
        > i think "thou" here means you, (even thou) in a sense "you are the
        wisdom", so no'lelya doesn't represent the idea well
        > maybe "elye, no'le"
        > then, "from on high" - why menelve?
        > i would use Menello
        > or have i misunderstood the form?

        I took it as "O come ~your~ wisdom from on high", although your
        translation is quite possible. I'll mess around with that. Also, I
        rewrote "from on high" as "heavenly", again for rhyme. I wouldn't
        hesitate to switch it back in a later version.

        > Elmenna tie hindeo tana
        > To us the path of knowledge show
        > that would make "even to us" , don't you like "me"? therefore menna?
        > and, where did you find hinde? it's not in my vocab
        > if you use some other word, for instance "noleme", you'll need a
        longer one to keep the rhythm,
        > yes, and decide, maybe path of knowledge could be as well expressed
        by the posessive case
        > and the imperative should end in -e, therefore "tane"(?)

        Is "me" the un-emphatic form of "we"? I totally overlooked
        that... I found "hinde" in the english-quenya wordlist under
        knowledge. I wanted to use several different words for the same
        thing, like in the english version- knowledge vs. wisdom. You're
        right, it should be tane.

        > Ar tanalme tieryassen lelya
        > And teach us in her ways to go
        > i got the feeling that "tanalme" would mean "we teach", i would
        express "teach us" by "a' tane me" - check the rhythm:))

        Again, I think you're right. Those pronouns are tripping me
        up. :)

        Thanks a bunch. Want to check up the next draft when it's ready?
        Meoiwen8288
        >
      • Celene Estelle
        meoiwen8288 wrote: My sole source of vocab is the quenya-english word lists at Ardalambion, and as I found no word for ransom, I
        Message 3 of 7 , Dec 15, 2003


          meoiwen8288 <meoiwen8288@...> wrote:

               My sole source of vocab is the quenya-english word lists at
          Ardalambion, and as I found no word for ransom, I decided
          that "deliver" would fit the context just as well.

          yes, mine too - so i guess there is no word for ransom in Q and suggest "change" (ahya) instead - but that's only if u like it more than etelehta


               Well, as I understood uit from the course, "tenna" was a
          postposition,

          perhaps you're right, but i remember something like "tenn' ambar-metta" which makes a preposition, i don't know, ...

                I rewrote "from on high" as "heavenly", again for rhyme. 

          can you break up to parts menelve for me?i just don't get what the form is (i mean "from heaven" for example would be "menello")and how do you form heavenly i have no idea

          btw, quoting that vocab, under heaven: 

          IN HEAVEN (adj., more or less = *HEAVENLY) meneld�a -

                  Is "me" the un-emphatic form of "we"? 

          in the course it says it's "me" for both "we" and "us" - not emphatic

          I found "hinde" in the english-quenya wordlist under
          knowledge. 

          KNOWLEDGE hand� (understanding), (slip?)

           I wanted to use several different words for the same
          thing, like in the english version- knowledge vs. wisdom.  -that's nice, i also try to find synonymes when translating

          Thanks a bunch.  Want to check up the next draft when it's ready? sure!!!

          btw, u might be helping me when i translate a poem (that's gonna be soon):))if u wish to

          and, are u signed up to elfling? most ppl send translations to that group
              > 
          ok, i hope i'm not getting boring and overstudious:)

          best wishes

          Celene



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