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980Re: Aiya!

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  • Tom Killingbeck
    Apr 26, 2003
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      Which message?

      -Mark

      The one that included these pieces of work that it doesn't seem like
      I can get anyone to comment on... is there nothing wrong with them?
      Is there no area I can grow in? I would love some advice, and some
      help at making my Quenya better. Thanks,
      Onoono

      Minya:
      [First:]

      Ant' alcar Ataren, ar Yondon, ar Ainasúlen, ve nes yessessë, ná sín,
      ar nauva tennoio. Nasië.
      [I saw David Chapman's "Two Christian Prayers" on a web page,
      published on the ELFLING list in April 2001, and was intrigued by
      them. I thought though, that maybe there was something about that
      whole "glory be" line that needed work. So I composed my own
      translation of the second one (I thought the first was very good, and
      I liked the idea of using the instrumental case.)]

      Attëa:
      [Second:]

      Nai mallë ortuva lenna / Nai súrë tuluva tennoio aldamolyallo / Nai
      Anar caluva laucavë antalyanna / Nai i mistë lantuva moicavë
      lairelyannar / Ar mennai enovantalmë / Nai Eru tiruva le cambessë
      máryo.

      ["May the road rise to meet you / May the wind be always at your
      back / May the sun shine warm upon your face / May the rain fall soft
      upon your fields / And until we meet again / May God hold you in the
      palm of his hand." I heard this in a song and thought that it would
      be really nice in Quenya, so I tried my hand at translating it.]

      Neldëa:
      [Third:]

      Linduvan len i lírë laitalëo
      Eruo ar vanya melmerya
      Linduvanyes i yómeniessë
      Írë nanyë quildë sarnessë

      Linduvanyes i hellion
      Ambaren ar i lien
      Linduvanyes ve i lóma
      Ter oromarderyassen
      Nauvas yellonya sinomë
      Auressë entulelyë
      Írë tultalyenyë tyulë
      Quildevë yánalyassë

      Ai, quetuvanyel sérë ar melmë
      Quettar Eruo nin quetina
      Ar sí nauvas quetina len yando
      Ter unqualë yoldoryo cuilen

      Linduvanyes i hellion
      Tenna Mornië-metta
      Linduvanyes ve i lóma
      I lurëa fanyaren
      Nauvas yellonya sinomë
      Ve sornë or i súrë
      San Eru yaluva elvë
      Quildevë yánaryanna

      [Notes: This is an original piece entitled "Lírë Laitalëo", one that
      I spend several hours on. I have not done really well with the metre
      or anything, but I have tried to make it as uniform as I can. I
      would love your thoughts on it, however. Now the questions: Is there
      any shorter way of saying "praise" as a noun? Are there any rules
      pertaining to the use of the article in poetry? "Shout of triumph" is
      a nice word, but is there a verb form of it? I am not sure about the
      use of "hellë" or its questionable dativity as "hellion". Is this a
      valid Quenya word for "sky"?]
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