Jest For Kids 07-08-13
- JEST FOR KIDS 07-08-13
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
Why are fish in the sea smarter than animals on land?
Because they travel in schools.
What did the jack say to the car?
"Want a lift?"
What did the shy pebble wish?
That she were a little boulder
Why was the belt arrested?
It held up a pair of pants.
What is the difference between a fresh loaf of Russian Rye and a proper young lady?
One is a well-made bread and the other a well-bred maid. (Stan Kegel)
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
When he handed her a note written on tissue paper, the teacher said it was a flimsy excuse.
Where there are many chickens you can find layers of eggs.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone in Texas would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
Did you hear about the cannibal policeman who was arrested? He was caught grilling his suspects.
Police arrested two kids on thee Fourth of July, One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
DUMB SPORTS QUOTES
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. (Greg Norman)
There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious. (Alan Minter)
And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago. (David Coleman)
It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs. (David Coleman)
We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite. (Murray Walker)
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
Agatha world on a string.
There was a man staying the night in a hotel. He called the front desk and said, "Excuse me, sir, I've got a leak in my sink." The man at the front desk replied, "Oh, okay, go ahead, but most guests just use the toilet."
My ten-year-old son informed us that part of his tooth had come out. We checked and, sure enough, a piece had broken off. Trying to lighten the moment, I asked my husband, "What do you suppose the tooth fairy gives for half a tooth?" "Nothing," he replied, "She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth."
A terrific explosion occurs in a Fireworks factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, an inquiry begins. One of the workmen is pulled aside to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the investigator, "you were near the scene, what happened?" "Well, it's like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up." "He was smoking in the mixing room?" The investigator said in stunned horror, "How long had he been with the company?" "About 20 years, sir" "20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I'd have thought it would have been the last thing he'd have done." "It was, sir."
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