Jest For Kids 05-15-13
- JEST FOR KIDS 05-15-13
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
I WILL BE ON VACATION BETWEEN MAY 17TH & MAY 26TH AND THERE WILL BE NO ISSUES OF MY POSTS DURING THAT PERIOD.
What do you call a veterinarian with a sore throat?
A hoarse doctor
What grows up while growing down?
Ducks and geese
Why didn�t the nut go to the middle of the room?
Because it was a wall nut
What is the difference between mass and weight?
Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on a Catholic.
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
Algebra is the aftermath of arithmetic. (David F. Thomas)
The ophthalmologist was called to testify because he was the only eye witness.
At dinner yesterday, I tried to cut myself a slice of prime rib, but it was only divisible by itself and one. (Chris Lipe)
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
Squad helps dog bite victim
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
Eye drops off shelf
Stolen painting found by tree
Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
Akron give you anything but love, baby.
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get 6." A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had avocados."
Seven-year-old Alex came home from school one day. He walked in the house. "Hello, Alex," his mother greeted. "Hi, Mom!" Alex replied as he got a glass of milk from the fridge and took a seat at the table. "Anything interesting happen in school today?" Mom asked as she sat down across from him. "My teacher was asking me about our family," Alex replied. "Really?" Mom asked, smiling. "What did she ask?" Alex said, "She asked if I had any brothers or sisters that will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest in you," Mom commented. "So what did she say when you told her that you're the only child, my dear?" Alex answered, "She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"
Do you know how many members of the TATE family belong to our organization? There is old man DICK TATE who wants to run everything, while Uncle RO TATE tries to change everything. Their sister, AGI TATE, stirs up plenty of trouble with help from her husband, IRRI TATE. Whenever new projects are suggested, HESI TATE and his wife, VEGI TATE, want to wait until next year. Brother FACILI TATE is quite helpful in group matters. And a happy member is Ms. FELICI TATE. Cousins COGI TATE and MEDI TATE always think things over and lend a helpful steady hand. And, of course, there is the bad seed in the family, AMPU TATE, who has cut himself off completely from the rest of the organization.
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