JEST FOR KIDS 05-14-13
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
I WILL BE ON VACATION BETWEEN MAY 17TH & MAY 26TH AND THERE WILL BE NO ISSUES OF MY POSTS DURING THAT PERIOD.
Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get a crown
What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
What did the woman say to the magician who had just sawed her in half?
"Can you join me for dinner?"
What did one DNA strand say to another DNA strand?
"Do these genes make my butt look fat?"
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
A chicken farmer's favorite car is a coupe. (Mike Bull)
When he spilled coffee on her shirt, she showed him dis-stain.
Families are like fudge -- mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
My girl friend swallowed a cordless vacuum cleaner. They took her to the hospital. She is picking up nicely now.
Acoustic: An instrument used in shooting pool.
Barber Shop: A Clip Joint.
Sneezing: Much achoo about nothing.
Prune: A plum that has seen better days.
Knob: A thing to adore.
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "OK, answer, Joan," said the teacher. "'Unlawful' is when you do something the law doesn't allow, and 'Illegal' is a sick bird."
I'm not much of a gift wrapper, especially compared with the women who work at our shop. But I was the only one available the day a customer wanted a gift wrapped for his mother. "Sorry," I said, handing back a box covered with wrinkled, oddly taped paper. "It's wrapped, but it sure looks like a guy did it." "Great," he said happily. "Now my mom will think I did it myself."
Gracie walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she could use the store's baby scale. "Sorry, ma'am," says the clerk. "Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and the baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first." "Oh, that won't work," says Gracie. "Why not?" asks the clerk. "Because," she answers, "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]