JEST FOR KIDS 05-02-13
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
Where do archers buy their arrows?
What should you look for to find the best butter on the farm?
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.
What do you call a guy who is all wrapped up in his work?
Reynolds (David Witherington)
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
This morning, I woke up late. Now I'm scrambling to make breakfast. (Bruce Hidgon)
I need to cut my fingernails before they get too out of hand.
The cannibal policeman was arrested for grilling his suspects.
�Doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.� �You shouldn�t let people push you around.�
SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"
BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"
BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."
MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
Claire the way, I�m coming through!
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than (>) and a less-than (<) sign on the chalkboard and asked, "Does anyone remember what these mean?" A few moments passed, and then a boy confidently raised his hand. "One means fast-forward," he exclaimed, "and the other means rewind!"
A man comes up to the owner of a lumberjack business and says, "I need a job and I think I'm pretty good." The owner replied, "Okay, show me what you can do, chop down that redwood over there." The man said okay and left. Five minutes later he came back and was done. The owner was shocked and asked, "How did you chop that tree down so fast?" The man said, "I got a lot of practice in the Sahara." The owner replied, "You mean the Sahara desert?" "Yes" he said, "or at least that's what they call it now."
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