Jest For Kids 03-22-13
- JEST FOR KIDS 03-22-13
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos.
Why did the tomato turn red?
She saw the salad dressing
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn't suit his taste!
Why did the sparrow go to the library?
It was looking for bookworms.
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
What happened when a cross-eyed dog chased a squirrel in the woods? It barked up the wrong tree. (Jim Ertner)
Set your drink on a skateboard, they make good coasters. (Mike Bull)
The ink drop was crying because his daddy was in the pen.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
It's so cold, the local news is broadcasting iceberg warnings to motorists.
It's so cold, I started the car by yelling "mush!"
It's so cold, hockey has added a new penalty: when players stop moving when they have the puck, it's called "De-icing".
It's so cold, they took down the sign that said "Water Park" and put up a new one that said "Luge Run".
It's so cold, blanket suffocation is becoming the number one cause of fatalities.
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
On the subject of animals, I've
Seen some that just barely survive
But young insects will eat
And for them life is sweet
Once they finally learn to bee hive
A teacher said to her student, "William, if both of your parents were born in 1976, how old are they now?" After a few moments, William answered, "It depends." "It depends on what?" she asked. "It depends on whether you ask my father or my mother."
In Hawaii we have a lot of geckos. They're really newts and the natives used to wear them for decoration. They'd wear different colors for different occasions, pineapple newts, mango newts, macadamia newts, etc. Have you ever seen a Hawaiian with a fig newt on? (Keith Martin)
A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old Gentleman's' yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."
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