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Jest For Kids 03-21-13

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  • Stan Kegel
    JEST FOR KIDS 03-2-13 Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old RIDDLES What is the Italian word for freeway? Espresso. Where does a one-armed man shop? At a
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 21, 2013
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      JEST FOR KIDS 03-2-13
      Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

      RIDDLES

      What is the Italian word for freeway?
      Espresso.

      Where does a one-armed man shop?
      At a second-hand store.

      What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a witch?
      Tyrannosaurus hex

      What part of the fish weighs the most?
      The scales

      PUNS & SHORT JOKES

      He ate so much over the holiday weekend he decided to quit cold turkey.

      He had only a skeleton crew, and made no bones about it.

      Some power saws are a cut above the rest.

      Show me a really insulting telegram and I'll show you a barbed wire! (Tony Thoennes)

      PUN SERIES

      POLITICALLY CORRECT SCHOOL TERMS

      Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

      These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

      Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

      Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

      You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

      GROANERS & LONG JOKES

      As part of the funeral rite,
      Dead Egyptians were wrapped in some white
      Linen strips, and were stressed
      When they laid them to rest.
      Their mummies were bound to be uptight.
      (Kirk Miller)

      My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The last time I was at his house all the signs were there. (Mike Bull)

      A high school history teacher was discussing the resignation of the Pope with his class. One student asked how they chose the new Pope. The teacher explained the process, finishing with, "So, the Cardinals pick him." A student in the back of the class asked, very seriously, "Why would they let a baseball team pick the next Pope?"

      The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."



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