Jest For Kids 03-21-13
- JEST FOR KIDS 03-2-13
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
What is the Italian word for freeway?
Where does a one-armed man shop?
At a second-hand store.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a witch?
What part of the fish weighs the most?
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
He ate so much over the holiday weekend he decided to quit cold turkey.
He had only a skeleton crew, and made no bones about it.
Some power saws are a cut above the rest.
Show me a really insulting telegram and I'll show you a barbed wire! (Tony Thoennes)
POLITICALLY CORRECT SCHOOL TERMS
Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."
These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."
Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."
Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
As part of the funeral rite,
Dead Egyptians were wrapped in some white
Linen strips, and were stressed
When they laid them to rest.
Their mummies were bound to be uptight.
My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The last time I was at his house all the signs were there. (Mike Bull)
A high school history teacher was discussing the resignation of the Pope with his class. One student asked how they chose the new Pope. The teacher explained the process, finishing with, "So, the Cardinals pick him." A student in the back of the class asked, very seriously, "Why would they let a baseball team pick the next Pope?"
The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."
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