JEST FOR KIDS 02-20-13
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
Why did the lazy man want to work in a bakery?
So he could loaf around.
What did the earthquake say after it stopped shaking?
It's not my fault
Why do grocery clerks ask you pick paper or plastic??
Because baggers can't be choosers.
Why did the tree get lost in the woods?
It took the wrong root
What kind of coffee were they serving when the Titanic hit an iceberg?
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
He was sick when he swallowed a rubber ball, but he soon bounced back.
The publisher offered the author a binding contract.
A guy walks into a doctor's office with a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
The massage therapist kneaded new customers.
When the artist won the poker hand, the losers said he drew well.
It's so cold, they took down the sign that said "Water Park" and put up a new one that said "Luge Run".
It's so cold, I started the car by yelling "mush!"
It's so cold, blanket suffocation is becoming the number one cause of fatalities.
It's so cold, hockey has added a new penalty: when players stop moving when they have the puck, it's called "De-icing".
It's so cold, the local news is broadcasting iceberg warnings to motorists.
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
The teacher said, "Now class, we know their are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?" All the kids looked baffled by the question except Little Johnny, who raised his hand and waved it excitedly. "Yes, Pauly, how many seconds are there in a year?" the teacher asked. Little Johnny answered, "Twelve, m'am. January second, February second, March second, ..."
A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain. "Please, doctor, you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee!" "Don't worry," says the doctor. "I'll put some cream on it." "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now." "No, you don't understand!" answers the doctor. "I'll put some cream on the place you were stung." "Oh! It happened in the garden behind my house." "No, no, no!" says the doctor getting frustrated. "I mean on the part of your body the bee stung you." "On my finger!" screamed the man in pain. "The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts!" "Which one?" the doctor asked. The patient replied, "How am I supposed to know? All bees look the same to me!"
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