Jest For Kids 01-31-13
- View SourceJEST FOR KIDS 01-31-13
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
Why did the nurse carry aroubd a red pen?
To draw blood
How did the doe win the race?
By passing the buck
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it's too far to walk.
What is the difference between an inflated oval object and the dropping of a heavy leather piece of footwear?
One is a FOOTBALL and the other is a BOOT FALL. (Lars Hanson)
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
When he played tennis, the waiter enjoyed serving.
If a man has enough 'horse sense' to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never be an old nag.
My electricity went out and I felt powerless to do anything about it.
At his wedding reception the newly-married cannibal toasted his mother-in-law.
Every time I even think about eating something like caterpillars, I get butterflies in my stomach.
See if you can translate the following into the familiar sayings we've all heard?
1. Scintillate, Scintillate, asteroid exiguous.
2. Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.
3. Surveillance should precede salutations
4. Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity
1. Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
2. Birds of a feather, flock together.
3. Think before you speak.
4. Beauty is only skin deep.
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
Agnew you were going to say that.
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE!" "I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO!" "I PRAY FOR A NEW iPAD!" His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: "When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]