Jest For Kids 01-30-13
- JEST FOR KIDS 01-30-13
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
What goes up but never comes down?
Why are cheetahs an endangered species?
Because cheetahs never prosper
What happened to the egg that laughed too hard?
It cracked up
What sits on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck
What do you call a lady magician?
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
The dentist examined the golfer's teeth and fold him he had a hole in one.
She stared at the orange juice container because it said, Concentrate."
I made a batch of fish eye soup. It should see me through the week.
The patient decided against an organ transplant. Instead, he changed his mind.
Don't stick your elbow
Out so far
It may go home
In another car
Speed was high, Weather was not
Tires were thin, X marks the spot. Burma Shave
At intersections Look each way
A harp sounds nice But it's hard to play . Burma Shave
She kissed the hairbrush By mistake
She thought it was Her husband jake Burma Shave
Cautious rider To her reckless dear:
Let's have less bull And a little more steer Burma Shave
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
When high jumping, never admit
Defeat. Just keep trying; don't quit.
Though you might get depressed,
Don't give up on your quest.
I know you will get over it.
My friend sat down with a new client at her gym to review her application. For the question "To what do you attribute your fitness issues?" the woman wrote, "Horrendous eating habits." "What makes you answer that?" my friend asked. The woman replied, "I can't spell atrocious."
A young boy enters a barbershop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone, smiled and replied: "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"
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