Jest For Kids 01-01-13 & 01-02-13
- JEST FOR KIDS 01-01-13 & 01-02-13
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
What does a caterpillar do on New Year's Day?
It turns a new leaf.
What was the heavy snowstorm that hit the Emarald City called?
The Blizzard of Oz.
What did the man say when he found his dogs had dug u the back yard?
"I want the hole truth.
Where did the hamburger take his date?
To the meat ball
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
"How's the recovery from knee replacement surgery going?" "Well, I stand corrected."
Savvy fruit growers will definitely live to a ripe old age.
A man called on a judge one evening during the dinner hour. The maid answered the door and said, "I'm sorry but his Honor is at steak."
Secret: Something you tell to one person at a time.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically
Restitution: A home for exhausted people.
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
At the end of the year, woman claims
To her football fan husband named James,
"When I turn on TV,
College football I see.
I'm bowled over by all of the games."
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and the charge." The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician, charged with battery." The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!"
The holiday bowl games were in full swing and we had invited some other football fans over. One couple brought their active two-year-old son, who began playing with a dish that was filled with antique buttons. After a few near disasters, my husband quietly removed the temptation. The next morning, I realized the bowl was gone and went upstairs. "Don, where is the button bowl?" I asked my just-awakening husband. "Gee, I don't know for sure," replied my spouse, who prides himself on knowing the answer to any sports trivia question. "I think it's in Florida."
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