Jest For Kids 04-01-11
- JEST FOR KIDS 04-01-11
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
How do you keep salmon in jail?
With strong lox. (Cynthia MacGregor)
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it is two-tired
Why did the crook drive away from the robbery in a laundry truck?
He wanted to make a clean getaway.
What kind of contest did the broom win?
Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs he would fall over
Define "BARIUM" and use it in a sentence: To deposit a person or animal underground and cover with earth. "My dog died yesterday, so we're gonna BARIUM today." (Jeff Foxworthy)
Use �BUDWEIZER� in a sentence: "Your next door neighbor is a nice lady BUDWEIZER dog so mean."
Math: Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.
Adverbs: "My family has a great future," said Tom clandestinely. (Richard Lederer)
PUNS & SHORT JOKES
An unemployed jester is nobody's fool.
Beware of the letter 'G'! It is the end of everything!
A man went into a pet store and asked the clerk, "Do you have any dogs that go cheap?" The salesman said, "No, just birds."
The actors had one great movie after another. They were on a role.
GROANERS & LONG JOKES
Valerie loved purple. Everything in her room was purple -- the bedspread, the carpet, the throws, the stuffed animal, you-name-it. When it came time to paint her room, her parents asked her what color. What else? She picked a shade of purple which would have turned the room into a cave. The girl's just plum crazy. (Bob Dvorak)
This guy that continually gains weight and is very sick and very fat. He is always eating turkey right from the refrigerator. It keeps making him sick and fatter but he can't stop. His friends and family worry about him but he keeps on with his addiction. Finally, after years of sickness, he stops and loses a lot of weight and looks great. His friends ask him how he did it. He says, "I quit cold turkey."
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