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Jest For Kids 02-01-11

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  • Stan Kegel
    JEST FOR KIDS 02-01-11 Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old RIDDLES What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake? It s not my
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 1, 2011
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      JEST FOR KIDS 02-01-11
      Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

      RIDDLES

      What did one mountain say to the other mountain after an earthquake?
      "It's not my fault."

      What has a head but no brain?
      A cabbage.

      What would happen if you swallowed a frog?
      You might croak.

      Why does the ocean roar?
      You�d roar, too, if you had crabs on your bottom. (James Ertner)

      What illness do beekeepers get most often?
      Hives.

      SCHOOL WORK

      Define "PASSPORT": To drive by the docks

      Use "LIQUOR" in a sentence: "The tennis star was sure she could LIQUOR opponent in the finals."

      "It's no good, sir," Little Johnny said hopelessly to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears." "See! I'm no good at math, either!"

      PUNS & SHORT JOKES

      Lightening storms can be very striking.

      Jan. 19, 1896 the first music patent was granted. The man who received it said he got it for a song.

      To a cab driver, a rainy day means fare weather.

      When I asked if I could get insurance if the nearby volcano erupted they assured me I would be covered.

      He was going to step into a bucket of ice, but got cold feet.

      GROANERS & LONG JOKES

      I was in a bank when a man entered with a rather large dog on a leash. When he asked if it was okay to bring his pet into the building, a bank official answered, "Yes, provided he doesn't make a deposit." (John Reed)

      Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

      As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign: "Danger! Beware of Dog!" Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor. "Is that the dog we're supposed to beware of?" he asks the owner. "That's him," comes the reply. "He doesn't look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?" "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him." (L. B. Weinstein)



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