Jest For Kids 02-01-10
- JEST FOR KIDS 02-01-10
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
What happened to the robber who stole the lamp?
He got a very light sentence!
How do snails fight?
They slug it out until one wins.
Why did the talking bird join the air force?
He wanted to be a parrot-trooper.
Did you hear about the gourd that went sky diving?
It was squashed.
Why doesn't Saturn like to take a bath?
Because it might leave a ring
What did the angry driver use to pay for his speeding ticket fine?
Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she's a hen.
I'll soon cure her.
What - and lose all the eggs?
Doctor, Doctor my husband smells like fish
Define "Acoustic": What you play pool with.
Use "Asthma" in a sentence: “He started crying as soon ASTHMA caught him sneaking out.”
Grammer: "You must be my host," Tom guessed.
My mother taught me about IRONY: "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
PUNS & OTHER HUMOR
Fill up the gas tank, I'm running low.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa's room. Then she says excitedly, "Grandpa, Grandpa... as soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" "WHAT?" asked her Grandpa. "Why do you want me to do that?" "Because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disneyland!"
The fish missed the call because he was stuck on the other line. (Mike Bull)
Late one night Norm's doorbell rang. When he answered the door, he found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed Norm by the collar, punched him in the eye, threw him across the living room and then ran off. The next day, Norm went to see his doctor to have his bruised eye examined. "Ah, yes," the doctor said when Norm explained what had happened. "There's a nasty bug going around."
They arrested the former chewing gum manufacturer for unlicensed ex-spearmints.