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Jest For Kids 05-01-09

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  • Stan Kegel
    JEST FOR KIDS 05-01-09 Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old RIDDLES Why did the music teacher get locked in his classroom? His keys were inside the piano!
    Message 1 of 1 , May 1, 2009
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      JEST FOR KIDS 05-01-09
      Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

      RIDDLES

      Why did the music teacher get locked in his classroom?
      His keys were inside the piano!

      Why did John walk backwards to school?
      It was back to school day!

      What does a ghost call his mother and father?
      His trans-parents.

      What criminals can you find in a shoe store?
      A pair of sneakers.

      What is the official title of the bank officer responsible for
      approving new mortgages?
      The Loan Arranger

      What are ten things you can always count on?
      Your fingers!

      What is the grasshopper's favorite sport?
      Cricket!

      What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves?
      A cartridge in a bare tree

      PUNS & OTHER HUMOR

      One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about her son, a
      college student. "Why, our son is so brilliant, every time we get a
      letter from him we have to go to the dictionary." "You're lucky," the
      neighbor said. "Every time we get a letter from ours, we have to go
      to the bank!"

      A potato chip factory decided to create a novel form of chips by
      frying them in goose grease. Unfortunately, one day a few goose
      feathers accidentally fell into the frying vat. However, a veteran
      inspector discovered the batch before any of it reached the public.
      When told of the mishap and the outcome, his boss remarked happily,
      "He's a good man to have around when the chips are down!"

      Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

      A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a
      "BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..." behind him. Walking faster, he looks back,
      making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the
      middle of the street towards him..."BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..." The man
      begins to run towards his home, and the coffin bounces after him
      faster...faster...BUMP BUMP BUMP. He runs up to his door, fumbles
      with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, and locks it behind him.
      The coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin
      clapping BUMP BUMP BUMP on the heals of the terrified man. The man
      rushes upstairs to the bathroom and locks himself in, heart pounding.
      With a CRASH, the coffin breaks down the door, coming slowly towards
      him, the man screaming, reaches for something, anything...all he can
      find is a box of cough drops which he throws at the coffin and the
      coffin stops.

      A boy come home from school with his exam results. "What did you get?"
      asked his father. "My marks are under water," said the boy. "What do
      you mean 'under water'?" "They are all below 'C' level"

      A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating
      recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a
      teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with
      me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."

      When there's a sale on tennis balls, it's first come, first serve.

      Use "Column" in a sentence: My neighbor had picked out a name for a
      girl, but when she gave birth to a boy she didn't know what to COLUMN.
      (Cynthia MacGregor)

      "Dad," said Tyrone, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please
      do my homework for me?" The teen's father said irately, "Son, it just
      wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied the boy. "At least you
      could try."
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