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Jest For Kids 01-01&02-09

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  • Stan Kegel
    JEST FOR KIDS 01-01&02-09 Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old RIDDLES Why did Johnny take a ruler to bed? So he could see how long he slept. How do
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 2, 2009
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      JEST FOR KIDS 01-01&02-09
      Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

      RIDDLES

      Why did Johnny take a ruler to bed?
      So he could see how long he slept.

      How do mountains hear?
      With mountaineers.

      What do you call a sleeping male cow?
      A bulldozer

      What do they call pastors in Germany?
      German shepherds.

      How does a boat show affection?
      It hugs the shore.

      PUNS

      A gardener who moved back to his home town rediscovered his roots.

      When he handed her a note written on tissue paper, the teacher said it
      was a flimsy excuse.

      The first scientists who studied fog were mistified.

      "Help!" the man on the phone screamed at the plumber, "I gotta leak in
      my toilet!" “Why tell me?" said the plumber. "What do you think it's
      there for?"

      Dry cleaners are often pressed for time.

      GROANERS & SHAGGY PUPPY STORIES

      While marking her pupil's social studies test papers, the teacher was
      in a quandry about the answer given by one of the third-graders. Asked
      to name the four major directions, he wrote: "Listen carefully. Write
      neatly. Sit up straight. Raise your hand."

      While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of
      medical students. "As you can see," she says, "the patient limps
      because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what
      would you do in a case like this?" "Well," ponders the student, "I
      suppose I'd limp too."

      My ten-year-old son informed us that part of his tooth had come out.
      We checked and, sure enough, a piece had broken off. Trying to lighten
      the moment, I asked my husband, "What do you suppose the tooth fairy
      gives for half a tooth?" "Nothing," he replied, "She wants the tooth,
      the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth."

      OTHER HUMOR

      Elderberry: An old grave-digger

      Roadway: I took my boat and ROADWAY over there. (Bob Dvorak

      "It's my own invention," Tom replied patently.

      "May I speak to the butcher?" "Sorry, he's in a meating."

      Old pineapple growers never die, they just go on the dole.

      Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog. Sit on the couch and we will
      talk about it. But I'm not allowed up on the couch!
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