Jest For Kids 12-01-08
- JEST FOR KIDS 12-01-08
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separate.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
If you want to get rich, why should you keep your mouth shut?
Because silence is golden.
What do you call a man when a Leatherneck sits on him?
Why did the spy pull the sheets over his head?
He was an undercover agent .
What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves?
A cartridge in a bare tree
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
I was teaching my 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt.
She asked, "Do I click the square?" I said, "Yes." She asked me,
"Single click or double click?"
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
McDonald's is buying the local basketball stadium? They're going to
call it the MacArena.
Nylons give women a run for their money.
GROANERS & SHAGGY PUPPY STORIES
One day at the food bank where I work, 20 boxes of cabbage came in. A
new staff member was advised by Arty, a longtime volunteer, to lift
them from the bottom. Within seconds, however, the staff members tried
to pick up a box from the sides. The bottom fell out, spilling
cabbages all across the room. "Next time, lift from the bottom," Arty
admonished, "or heads will roll."
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone. As
his dad listened on, the youngster told his grandparents dejectedly,
"Mom is in the hospital, so the twins, and Roxie, and Billy, and
Sally, and the dog, and me and Dad are all home alone."
Expansion slot : Extra hole in your belt to use when you overeat
"The queen and drones are all leaving the hive," exclaimed Tom
Old mechanics never die, they just run out of gas.
On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."