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Jest For Kids 07-01-08

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  • Stan Kegel
    JEST FOR KIDS 07-01-08 Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old RIDDLES What is H I J K L M N O ? Water (H to O) What did one candle say to the other candle?
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 1, 2008
      JEST FOR KIDS 07-01-08
      Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

      RIDDLES

      What is "H I J K L M N O"?
      Water (H to O)

      What did one candle say to the other candle?
      "Going out tonight?"

      What did one car muffler say to the other car muffler?
      "Am I exhausted!"

      How did the man feel when he got a big bill from the electric company?
      He was shocked.

      How do pigs write?
      With a pigpen.

      If you want to get rich, why should you keep your mouth shut?
      Because silence is golden.

      PUNS

      He didn't want to volunteer for the rodeo but he got roped into it.

      It's quiet in a bowling alley because you can hear a pin drop.

      He had only a skeleton crew, and made no bones about it.

      He put bug spray on his watch to get rid of the ticks.

      There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

      Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

      GROANERS & SHAGGY PUPPY STORIES

      A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had
      great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked
      her how she liked her first football game experience. "Oh, I really
      liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all those big
      muscles! Wow! But... I just can't understand why they were killing
      each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, and scratching his head, her
      date asked, "What do you mean, 'over 25 cents'?" "Well, they flipped a
      coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept
      screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...
      Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"

      A group of Texas friends went deer hunting and paired-off in twos for
      the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
      under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others
      asked. "Henry had some kind of stroke. He's a couple of miles back up
      the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out
      there and carried the deer back?" they inquired of him. "A tough
      call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's going to steal Henry!"

      OTHER HUMOR

      Knock knock.
      Who's there?
      Aussie.
      Aussie who?
      Aussie you later, mate!

      What do you get when you cross a dog with a daisy?
      A collie-flower.

      Catatonic: Your feline's favorite drink (Richard Lederer and James
      Ertner)

      Old gardeners never die they just vegetate.

      "There's so many resolutions I could make, I don't know where to
      begin," Tom said listlessly.
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