JEST FOR KIDS 01-01-08
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
No, they had an apple.
Why did the baker stop baking bread?
Because he wasn't making enough dough.
What did the first casket say to the second casket?
Is that you coffin?
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a spider?
A hare net. (Lederer & Ertner)
Why did the skeleton go to the movies alone?
He had no body to go with him
Why are wizards good at fishing?
Because they really know how to cast a spell!
The warden gave the inmates acne medicine hoping it would keep them
from breaking out. (Mike Bull)
He had to learn what the measles were from scratch.
A German farmer with relatives in the US sent them a package
consisting of some pork sausages made from his old pig. When they
complained that the package had not yet arrived, he wrote: "Cheer
up. The wurst is yet to come."
Employees at AAMCO Mufflers complain that it is exhausting work.
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who
passed trash against us."
A brain goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer,
please." The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're out of
A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped
the beer, he heard a voice say, "Nice tie." Looking around, he saw
that the bar was empty except for him and the bartender. A few sips
later, another voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man calls
the bartender over. "Say, I must be losing my mind," he tells him."I
keep hearing these voices say nice things, and there is not a soul in
here but us." "It's the peanuts," explains the bartender, indicating
a dish on the bar. "The peanuts?" "That's right, the peanuts--they're
A policeman pulled a female driver over and asked to see her license.
After looking it over, he said to her, "Lady, it stipulates here on
your license that you should be wearing glasses." "Well, I have
contacts," the woman replied. "Look lady, I don't care who you know,"
snapped the officer. "You're getting a ticket."
A little boy walked up to the librarian to check out a book entitled
"COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR MOTHERS." When the librarian asked him if it
was for his mother, he answered no. "Then why are you checking it
out?" "Because," said the boy, beaming from ear to ear, ... "I just
started collecting moths last month!"
Produce manager tried to cajole
All his workers with humor that's droll:
"When stacking up lettuce,
What's bound to upset us
Is if stock hits the floor -- heads will roll."
Secretion: The hiding of something. (Richard Lederer)
Beta: If you'd ever been fishing before, you'd know how to BETA hook.
The sewer expansion project is nearing completion but City officials
are holding their breath until it is officially finished.
"I'd say your pants are too short," the tailor said off the cuff.
"How to Stay Tidy" by Colleen D. House.