Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

Jest For Kids 10-01-07

Expand Messages
  • Stan Kegel
    JEST FOR KIDS 10-01-07 Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old WEB SITES TO VISIT Smartest bird in the world (Parents: This is a video every child will love)
    Message 1 of 1 , Oct 1, 2007
    • 0 Attachment
      JEST FOR KIDS 10-01-07
      Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

      WEB SITES TO VISIT

      Smartest bird in the world (Parents: This is a video every child will
      love)
      http://www.zippyvideos.com/2649691525845226/einsteinbird/

      RIDDLES

      Why did they let the turkey join the band?
      Because he had the drumsticks

      What do call it when you get struck by lightning?
      A shocking experience!

      Do you know how long cows should be milked?
      The same as short ones.

      What kind of pet did Aladdin have?
      A flying car-pet!

      What do you call a cow that has no milk?
      An udder failure

      PUNS

      When I was asked where I was born and said Mississippi, they wanted
      to know what part, so I told them all of me.

      Those who play team sports usually have a ball.

      Whenever I'm reading really bad prose, I always remember it could be
      verse.

      The "flu" is both affirmative and negative. Sometimes the eyes have
      it and sometimes the nose.

      Look at this mess!" roared an angry customer at a local cafe,
      pointing to his squashed doughnut. "It's just as you ordered it,
      sir," the waitress replied meekly. "You told me to bring you coffee
      and a doughnut and step on it."

      VOCABULARY

      Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

      Rampart: Cameo role in the Christmas play (Ken Pinkham)

      Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

      Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

      Vitamin: If a beggar comes to your door, surprise him and in VITAMIN
      (Stan Kegel)

      GROANERS

      A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out
      of here with that dog!" The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog,
      this dog can play the piano!" The bartender replies, "Well, if he can
      play that piano, you both can stay and have a drink on the house!" So
      the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.
      Ragtime, Mozart, and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the
      music. Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the
      scruff of the neck, and drags him out. The bartender asks the guy,
      "What was that all about?" The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother.
      She wants him to be a doctor."

      There was this bank where the employees went on strike leaving the
      bank officers to do the teller's tasks. While the strike was on this
      customer called the bank and asked if they were open. They told her
      they had two windows open. Then she asked, "Can't I just come though
      the front door?"

      Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about
      the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt's name was
      finally called, she was asked to step on the scale. "I need to get
      your weight today," said the nurse. Without a moment's hesitation, my
      aunt replied, "One hour and 45 minutes!"

      OTHER HUMOR

      Celery, raw,
      Develops the jaw,
      But celery, stewed,
      Is more quietly chewed.
      (Ogden Nash)

      Sign in a butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

      "Waiter, you scratched the side of your nose with my spoon."
      "I'm sorry. Should I have used a fork instead?"

      "My collie wakes me every morning at exactly 7 AM." Tom stated
      dogmatically.
    Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.