[POTD] Puns of the Day: 4-1-99
- Puns of the Day: 4-1-99
PUNY Riddle Chain:
Ms. Moffo became such a temperamental diva
in her later days that LaScala took a rather
drastic step. What did they decide to do?
Ban Anna (By Cynthia MacGregor)
Who is the beloved children's storybook author
of ancient Greek times?
Movie of the week:
Name the instruction film about getting around
"From Here to Fraternity". (By Bob C.)
The International Save the Pun Foundation:
Passover begins today. Shakespeare wrote a play
honouring this happy holiday. It is called,
"Matzo Do About Nothing"
Pun of the Day
Those with scissors shouldn't use cutting words.
The Pun Page
Mr. Dunlop went to a professor and asked the
professor to do a pun on his name. The professor
said, "Lop off the last syllable and it is Dun."
Some aging actors find it difficult to act their age.
Monica Lewinsky will market a super premium
cigar this winter. While most super premium cigars
are soaked in brandy, whiskey or cognac, Monica
will soak hers in cider.
If you suspect your doctor is a quack . . . DUCK OUT.
The Placebo Page:
Men are like mini skirts. If you're not careful,
they'll creep up your legs.
What's the similarity between a camera and a condom?
They're both used to catch those special moments!
What evidence is there that Adam and Eve
were pretty noisy?
They raised Cain.
These hemorrhoids are a real pain in the neck.
Hair Club for Men has a new 24 hr infomercial
channel. It's only available on toupee per view.
Haiku Puns from John S. Crosbie
There is nothing worse
Than poems about cute cats.
It's all perverse.
What's the name of the charioteer who does
homeopathic medicine on the side?
Ambiguity of the Day:
When overcome by thoughts of sin the princess
visited the (NAVE, KNAVE).
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Chicks that cross the road.
Are never served cold.
Tom Swifts from Pun American Newsletter:
"I would like to maximize the return on my
savings," Tom said interestingly.
PUN-abridged Dictionary by Jay Christie:
COSTUME: Where they will bury the creator of
DOWNLOAD: (1) To flush the john.
(2) Getting the firewood off of the truck.
Proverbs From Children:
The pen is mightier than the ... pigs.
Don't byte off more than you can view.
He was wearing a turbine on his head.
Quotes to the Day: Ron Van Wyhe:
A noted urologist retired and became a poet.
He went from bladder to verse.
Is a shell-less turtle homeless, or just naked?
Students may like nitrates, they're cheaper
than day rates.
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