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[POTD] Puns of the Day: 4-1-99

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  • Stan Kegel
    Puns of the Day: 4-1-99 PUNY Riddle Chain: Ms. Moffo became such a temperamental diva in her later days that LaScala took a rather drastic step. What did they
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 1, 1999
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      Puns of the Day: 4-1-99

      PUNY Riddle Chain:

      Ms. Moffo became such a temperamental diva
      in her later days that LaScala took a rather
      drastic step. What did they decide to do?
      Ban Anna (By Cynthia MacGregor)

      Who is the beloved children's storybook author
      of ancient Greek times?
      Answer Tomorrow

      Movie of the week:

      Name the instruction film about getting around
      on campus.
      "From Here to Fraternity". (By Bob C.)

      The International Save the Pun Foundation:

      Passover begins today. Shakespeare wrote a play
      honouring this happy holiday. It is called,
      "Matzo Do About Nothing"

      Pun of the Day

      Those with scissors shouldn't use cutting words.

      The Pun Page

      Mr. Dunlop went to a professor and asked the
      professor to do a pun on his name. The professor
      said, "Lop off the last syllable and it is Dun."

      Very Punny:

      Some aging actors find it difficult to act their age.

      Monica Lewinsky will market a super premium
      cigar this winter. While most super premium cigars
      are soaked in brandy, whiskey or cognac, Monica
      will soak hers in cider.

      Jumble:

      If you suspect your doctor is a quack . . . DUCK OUT.

      The Placebo Page:

      Men are like mini skirts. If you're not careful,
      they'll creep up your legs.

      What's the similarity between a camera and a condom?
      They're both used to catch those special moments!

      Richard Lederer:

      What evidence is there that Adam and Eve
      were pretty noisy?
      They raised Cain.

      These hemorrhoids are a real pain in the neck.

      Gary Hallock:

      Hair Club for Men has a new 24 hr infomercial
      channel. It's only available on toupee per view.

      Haiku Puns from John S. Crosbie

      There is nothing worse
      Than poems about cute cats.
      It's all perverse.

      Clynch Varnadore

      What's the name of the charioteer who does
      homeopathic medicine on the side?
      Ben Hur-bal

      Ambiguity of the Day:

      When overcome by thoughts of sin the princess
      visited the (NAVE, KNAVE).

      Why did the chicken cross the road?

      Dorothy Parker:
      Chicks that cross the road.
      Are never served cold.

      Tom Swifts from Pun American Newsletter:

      "I would like to maximize the return on my
      savings," Tom said interestingly.

      PUN-abridged Dictionary by Jay Christie:

      COSTUME: Where they will bury the creator of
      Fat Albert

      Computer Meanings:

      DOWNLOAD: (1) To flush the john.
      (2) Getting the firewood off of the truck.

      Proverbs From Children:

      The pen is mightier than the ... pigs.

      Internet Axioms:

      Don't byte off more than you can view.

      Malapropisms:

      He was wearing a turbine on his head.

      Quotes to the Day: Ron Van Wyhe:

      A noted urologist retired and became a poet.
      He went from bladder to verse.

      Extra:

      Is a shell-less turtle homeless, or just naked?

      Students may like nitrates, they're cheaper
      than day rates.

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