Jest For Kids 11-01-06
- JEST FOR KIDS 11-01-06
Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old
How do you make sure that no one steals your bagel?
You put lox on it.
What did the religious carrot say to the greens?
Why did the moth in the theater chew a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see the floor show. (Lederer & Ertner)
Why did the dummy take a ruler to bed?
To see how long he slept.
What happened when the wizard met the witch?
It was love at first fright!
Before final exams, archaeology students will dig in.
The hairdresser gave her customer the brush-off.
When the heavy rain hit the stadium during the game, the fans poured
When a new hive is done, bees hold a house swarming party.
The ailing upholster recovered.
Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips
that can store and play music inside women's breasts. This is
considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always
complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to
Noah was told that of all the animals on the ark, only the adders
refused to obey God's command and go forth and multiply. "We'll, "
said Noah. "I'll have to ask the Big Guy what to do about that. " And
so he went up to God and said, "These snakes won't go forth and
multiply" And God said, "Don't worry. Find some the trees and saw
them into logs and create a platform sitting upon four legs. Then put
the snakes on the platform. " "But how will that help the snakes? "
asked Noah. "Silly man, " replied God, "Everyone knows even adders
can multiply using a log table! "
During a performance for the high school drama class at the local
theatre, a hole was cracked in the stage floor. Subsequent acts
managed to avoid the damaged area until little Freddy, juggling
bowling pins, accidentally stepped through the hole up to his knee.
He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness. But a heckler in
the back of the theatre shouted:"Don't worry, Freddy! It's just a
stage you're going through!"
A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the
apartment next door. She hasn't heard anything from her for a few
days. So she tells her son, "I want you to go next door and see how
Old Mrs. Pierpoint is." A few minutes later, the boy returns. "Well,
is she all right? " the mother asks. "She's fine, but she's annoyed
with you," he says. "At me? Whatever for? " "Well, " says her son,
"Mrs. Pierpoint told me it's none of your business how old she is."
Some say fleas are black.
But I know that's not so.
'Cause Mary had a little lamb
With fleas as white as snow.
Pathologic: Figuring out how to get out of a maze
You're hard to find, attractive, and never cheap: JULES
"You Always Get Caught" by Sue Nora Later
"Let's be honest about what happened, " said Frank.
Grand piano for sale by young lady with mahogany legs (Richard Lederer)