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Jest For Kids 06-01-06

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  • Stan Kegel
    JEST FOR KIDS 06-01-06 Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old RIDDLES How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares. What do
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      JEST FOR KIDS 06-01-06
      Riddles and Puns for the 8 to 14 year old

      RIDDLES

      How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
      Look for gray hares.

      What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?
      A funny bunny!

      How are rabbits like calculators?
      They can multiply real fast.

      What is a rabbit's favorite dance?
      The bunny hop.

      What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit?
      Unique up on him .

      What's the best way to catch a tame rabbit?
      The tame way, unique up on him.

      What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes?
      A dumb bunny.

      How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
      Did you ever see a rabbit with glasses?

      What kind of books do rabbits read?
      The ones with hoppy endings!

      DAFFINITIONS

      Define: "Paratrooper": Military dropout. (WordFoolery)

      Use "Robert Burns" in a sentence: The best laid plans of many men are
      oft destroyed by ruthless ROBERT BURNS who steal their land and
      property. (Gary Hallock)

      PUNS

      When asked how the season was going, the baseball coach replied
      saying that it was in full swing.

      Most rules of thumb suck.

      Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

      Your sense of touch suffers when you are ill because you don't feel
      well.

      Funny thing about the way a horse eats he eats best when he hasn't a
      bit in his mouth.

      GROANERS

      "What's your father's occupation? " asked the school secretary on the
      first day of the new academic year. "He's a magician, Ma'am" said the
      new boy. "How interesting. What's his favorite trick? " "He saws
      people in half. " "Gosh! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?
      " "One half brother and two half sisters. "

      The woman was sprinkling a spice as she walked in circles,
      circumnavigating their high peak. When her son asked her what she was
      doing, she started to answer, "I'm sprinkling..." and then she sang.
      "Cumin round the mountain." (Cynthia MacGregor)

      I was driving to work this morning when my car stalled in the damp
      weather. I was sitting in the car at the side of the highway,
      contemplating my next move, when a pigeon flew down and landed right
      in the middle of the hood of the car. It seemed fairly tame, and I
      soon became fascinated in watching it up close as it strutted around
      and made cooing noises. A few minutes passed, and two more pigeons
      flew in and joined the first bird. Pigeons seem to be attracted by
      crowds, and soon I was sitting there with a whole hood full of
      pigeons, all cooing loudly and beginning to change the color of my
      hood. Gradually I noticed that the birds seemed to be trying to get
      my attention, which was unnerving, since I had always regarded
      pigeons as rather stupid birds. But, sure enough, several of them
      were dragging a piece of rope around on the hood, and several others
      were flying out in front of the car and returning to the hood. All of
      a sudden, I realized what they were doing, so I yanked open the door
      and wildly chased them all off. No way was I going to be pigeon towed!

      OTHER HUMOR

      Little Willie Winkle with a thirst for gore
      Stapled his sister to the door,
      "Now Willie" his mother said with humor quaint,
      "Don't do that, you'll scratch the paint"

      Headline: Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of Isolation

      Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
      Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."

      Old Cashiers never die they just check out

      Man, honest. Will take anything.

      What do you get when you cross a tiger with a needle?
      Pin stripes.

      THE COMICS

      School Exam: Question: The free-for-all mania and infectious greed of
      the California gold rush began in 1849. What was John Sutter famous
      for? Student answers, "Contributing to the delinquency of a
      miner." (Grand Avenue: Steve Breen)

      If at first you don't succeed try a little ardor. (Graffiti: Gene Mora)

      ==========================================

      Send your favorite riddle or pun to <mailto:kegel@...> with "For
      Jest For Kids" as the subject and the joke and your name and age as
      the message.
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