KESO by Chris Caillouet
- Chris Caillouet"s radio announcer monologue was the favorite of all
the contestants who chose him as the winner of the coveted "McClughan
Memorial Most Viable Punster Award" at The 28Th Annual O. Henry Pun-
Off World Championships in Austin on May 14, 2005. Here is his routine:
Buenos Nachos, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for tuning in
to K E S O - QUESO! - your cheesy news source. I am Juan T’Makyalaf.
First, some tips from our highway department: If you plan to
drive to California, take an itinerary.
Also, if you ever get thirsty on your way to College Station, you
should stop in Navasota.
Speaking of College Station, botanists at the Texas A & M have
developed a pest-resistant strain of cotton and, trust me, it is
truly un-boll-weevil-ble. Not to be outdone by the Aggies, scientists
at the UT revealed that they can now measure the mass of a particle
of light. The device they use cannot be moved, however, because it
A man was killed at a Whole Foods in San Antonio last night
when a huge display of tropical fruit collapsed on top of him. They
were unable to identify him, his body was so badly... mangoed.
Analysts say that although the Enron officials thought their
knack for deception was an asset, it was all just a big liability.
Formed in 1806, the Buffalo Preservation Society is gearing up
for its bisontennial next year.
This just in: The population of Rio de Janeiro has reached a
A new legend heralds from Scotland of a Big Foot-like creature
that can draw caricatures: the legend of The Likeness Monster.
Psychologists report growing numbers of patients who are
infatuated with skyscrapers the classic “Edifice Complex.” They also
warn of a new syndrome marked by excessive amusement at one’s own
attempts at humor. If you have ever tickled your own funny bone, it
may be a sign of “laughterbation.”
We are out of time! Gracias por dipping into KESO. It’s the
taco the town!