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[POTD] Puns of the Day: 8-2-99

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  • Stan Kegel
    Puns of the Day: 8-2-99 PUNY Riddle Chain: The use of amphibians for testing to determine the probable outcome of a disease or condition is called:
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 2, 1999
      Puns of the Day: 8-2-99

      PUNY Riddle Chain:

      The use of amphibians for testing to determine the
      probable outcome of a disease or condition is called:
      Frognostication (By Stan Kegel)

      This novel about a large family ends with the elder
      children leaving home to form a quartet. What is
      the title of the final chapter?
      Answer Tomorrow

      Authors:

      "Unemployed" … By Anita Job.
      (By D. Cobie)

      Last Night Of Freedom …By Marion Tomorrow
      Answer Tomorrow

      Movie of the Week:

      Greer Garson plays a suburban housewife who drives
      the kids to soccer practice in a small buslike vehicle.
      Answer Wednesday

      Celebrities you might not know:

      Former monster gets into the used car business:
      Boris Carlot (By Gill Krebs)

      Pun of the Day:

      A karate school restaurant served mainly chops.

      Jumble:

      Many seatmates on direct flights fear a NON-STOP talker.

      When the debt was finally paid, the bill collector got a
      “DUN” DEAL.

      The Placebo Page:

      Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
      Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan

      Original Sin:

      A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even
      though you're slightly cracked.

      Richard Lederer:

      Padded bra: A false front.

      She was only a fisherman's daughter, and when she saw
      a man's rod, she reeled. And she loved a cockle mussel-
      just for the halibut.

      Gary Hallock:

      How can William Shakespeare?
      His Lance Arm's strong

      Cynthia MacGregor:.

      "KNIFE job, Doc," I said to the medico, as I watched
      the blood SURGEON out of the artery.

      Will Shortz:

      "Can Rex Reed?"
      "Yes, but Emmanuel Kant."

      Steven D'Aprano

      What's white and fluffy and swings through trees?
      A meringue utang.

      Aiken Drum:

      Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There is always one more bug.

      Karna Thulin:

      She was only a duck feeders daughter but she certainly
      filled the bill.

      Mike Weatherby:

      On an Indian reservation, the tribal leaders were obtaining
      the lowest bids to build a new men's room. The contractor
      who got the job wound up slinging some long sticks together
      and throwing cloth around it. What the tribe wound up with
      was a cheapie peepee teepee

      Tom Swifts from The Pun American Newsletter:

      "Why can‘t I go on the archaeological dig?" said Torn piteously.

      Useful Metric Conversions.

      100 rations = 1 C-ration

      Paronomastic Dictionary by Stan Kegel:

      UNABATED: A fishhook without a worm

      Computer Meanings:

      MULTISYNC : two washing areas in the same bathroom

      Medical Definitions:

      CAUTERIZE: Made eye contact with her

      Scott Ryan:

      EXUDATE: A former spouse you go to dinner with.

      Extra:

      Some gas station owners are very self-serving.

      I've joined a new religion, Punchism, It's very similar
      to the Jewish religion. In fact, there is a way you can
      belong to both sects, which I'm going to try. I will then
      be a follower of both Punch and Judaism.
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