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[POTD] Puns of the Day: 7-1-99

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  • Stan Kegel
    Puns of the Day: 7-1-99 PUNY Riddle Chain: A florist was arrested for killing her lover and then covering his body with fronds. What was the charge? Leafing
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 1 9:02 AM
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      Puns of the Day: 7-1-99

      PUNY Riddle Chain:

      A florist was arrested for killing her lover and then
      covering his body with fronds. What was the charge?
      Leafing the scene of a crime. (By Stan Kegel)

      When the famous Mr. Clemens and his wife separated
      from each other, they had opinions and feelings so
      divergent from each other that continued marriage
      seemed impossible. In fact, they were so far apart
      from each other in their beliefs that they referred
      to each other as "East" and "West." At the final
      parting, they vowed to never set foot in the same
      room as each other again. How did they phrase it?
      Answer Tomorrow

      Book of the Week:

      P. Christopher Wren’s chronicle of the appearances
      of a superstar on the late night talk show circuit to
      hype her new blockbuster new movie “10”:.
      “Bo Guests” (By Stan Kegel)

      The International Save the Pun Foundation:

      A rabbit, a robin and a pair of female sheep;
      Canada turns 133 today.
      Hoppy birdy two ewes, Canada!

      Pun of the Day:

      After taking the elevator to the top floor I felt
      very up-lifted.

      Jumble:

      Found at most hotels: BROOM SERVICE

      The Placebo Page:

      Why did the turtle cross the road?
      To get to the shell station

      Richard Lederer:

      What do you call an Eskimo who’s a peeping Tom?
      An optical Aleutian

      Condom: An article of attire to be worn on every
      conceivable occasion.

      Gary Hallock:

      I got a notice from the local fog bank. They said my loan
      was overdew.

      Cynthia MacGregor:

      Do you find Art supplies at a DRAWN shop?

      Tiff Wimberly:

      Nymphomaniacs have more and morgasms

      Don’s List:

      Veterinarians now prescribe birth-control pills for dogs.
      It's part of an anti-litter campaign.

      K. Flynn:

      "No-wear Man" …… Nudist Camp theme song

      Authors by Asa Sparks:

      English Breakfast …… by Chris P. Bacon and Ann Negg

      Tom Swifts from The Pun American Newsletter:

      "This pencil is broken," Tom said disappointedly.

      Jim McFarland:

      "I guess I will clean this British tavern with my tongue"
      announced Tom, publicly.

      Definitions:

      PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

      Computer Meanings:

      COBAL: Baseball game with men and gals at company picnics

      Medical Definitions:

      TUMOR: An extra pair

      Legal definitions from David Williams:

      What the auto body repairman did to fix my car
      Press a dent

      Foreign Definitions from Gill Krebs:

      HORA E SEMPRE: The hooker always does her job

      K. Thulin:

      ELECTROLYTE: The headlight on the front of a vacuum cleaner

      What's Your Favorite Hymn?

      The Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy

      Extra:

      A guy bought a skipping rope because his doctor prescribed
      pills for two days running and then skip a day.

      ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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