Shy People Are a Blessing
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Shy People Are a Blessing
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A person who is shy always comes across as having a charm
that is singularly missing in most people. Instead of that
often brash over-confident person who just loves the sound
of her or his own voice, the shy person seems to live and
breathe more softly.
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Distribution Date and Time: 2010-12-22 11:00:00
Written By: Dr Jeannette Kavanagh
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Shy People Are a Blessing
Copyright (c) 2010 Dr Jeannette Kavanagh
Conquer Public Speaking Fears
I mean it. In a world of brash, egomaniacal extroverts, it's
simply wonderful to meet a shy person. Someone who is a little
bit diffident about telling you how wonderful s/he is. A person
who is shy always comes across as having a charm that is
singularly missing in most people. Instead of that often brash
over-confident person who just loves the sound of her or his own
voice, the shy person seems to live and breathe more softly.
They're the ones who listen more attentively. Shy people defer
to others, and don't enter the daily battle to dominate the
airplay in conversations.
That's from the point of view of someone who is not shy. Through
my counseling Practice, I know that many people wish they were
not quite so shy.
In my counselling Practice, I've met many clients who whose
shyness is to them, a daily burden. It is something that makes
them feel uneasy at College because they're worried they'll be
called on to speak in a lecture room. And of course sometimes at
school, College or work, we are required to make presentations to
groups of people. It's in situations like that that shyness can
be a challenge. It's also something that can be easily overcome.
A most useful website and support information... The most
impressive website I've found is Dr Renee Gilbert's site
www.shakeyourshyness.com . Think about visiting her
information-packed website. Dr Gilbert brings to the site two
great assets. First, she is herself a 'recovering' shy person.
Read why she uses the term 'recovering' to describe herself.
Secondly, she is a fully qualified Psychologist with years of
experience in helping people to manage their shyness.
Overcoming Your Shyness
When we talk about overcoming your shyness, it's not an illness
that you have to battle. Part of the wonderful diversity among
the human race is that we have quiet and calm people who are
happy in their own company, through to quite extroverted people
who need others around them all the time. We rarely if ever see
the confident extrovert as having to overcome her or his
extroversion. In the case of shypeople, their introversion is not
any sort of problem except if it causes them any level of
If for example, a shy person avoids going to parties and
consequently feels lonely and isolated, then of course they'll
have to develop ways to feel more confident about going to social
gatherings. Dr Renee Gilbert states that "there is one thing
most shy people have in common - sooner or later, most of us
struggle with a lack confidence in our social skills because our
shyness causes us to avoid precisely the kinds of situations that
would help us learn to refine our skills. Instead of getting
better with time, we get worse through lack of practice.
Therefore, I strongly recommend that whatever program you choose
include an element of social skills training or practice".
For an interesting insight to shyness written by someone who is
comfortable with her shyness, consider reading this article by
In terms of actually overcoming your shyness, it will be a matter
of degree. It may well be that if you're shy, you'll always be
at least a little bit shy. With mindful social skills training
and sometimes with Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) you can learn
to re-write the script about how to feel a little less
uncomfortable in social situations. For my part, I do understand
that shyness can make life a bit more challenging but please
let's not create any more bombastic extroverts.
As with any problem in your life, finding a solution will involve
you taking what I call baby steps. That is, you might try to feel
less shy and uncomfortable in one situation. Then, when you feel
more comfortable in a situation that had previously been
difficult for you, extend that gradually to other situations -
one little step at a time. And remember: be kind to yourself. If
you seem at times to regress rather than improve, accept that you
are only human and a wonderfully multi-faceted one at that. You
are never simply the things you decide are your weaknesses. As I
said in the title of this article, what you consider a weakness
others find a delightful blessing.
Dr Kavanagh works in Melbourne, Australia to help people
overcome their public speaking fears. Jeannette has helped
thousands of people overcome their fear of public speaking.
For more information, visit her website:
Sign up for a FREE Public Speaking Success program.
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