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california to secede?

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  • Greg Cannon
    http://www.lewrockwell.com/stein/stein18.html The California Revolution Begins by Russ Stein First came the email, a few days after the election. Russ – I
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 19, 2004
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      http://www.lewrockwell.com/stein/stein18.html
      The California Revolution Begins

      by Russ Stein

      First came the email, a few days after the election.

      "Russ � I want to get a proposition on the California
      Ballot for the next election. Do you know anything
      about writing a proposition? I'll give you a call so
      we can talk more about it. Stymie."

      I groaned. I write, and I once had the misfortune of
      wasting three years spacing out in law school
      (actually only 2 years, 8 months when you consider the
      torment begins in September and ends with graduation
      in May), so whenever my friends are involved in
      arcane, ridiculous disputes, or get possessed by
      whacked out political ideas, who do you think they
      call? That's right, they call me.

      I had an idea what this was going to be about, so last
      night when my cell finally buzzed with Stymie's
      number, I considered letting voice mail pick up. But
      no, curiosity got the better of me. How ridiculous
      would it get? I picked up.

      "Dude, I want to get a proposition on the California
      Ballot for the next election."

      "Oh yeah?" I said, feigning as though this was a
      rational subject to be calling one of your college
      buddies about.

      "Yeah. But I don't know how to write it up so it's
      legal."

      "You don't? I mean, don't you have to get a bunch of
      signat�"

      "Listen dude, this Bush thing is total BS. We can't
      have these extreme religious dudes pushing us around."

      "Yea�"

      "That's why we've got to get California out."

      "Uh�"

      "I need you to write a Ballot proposition for the next
      election to have California secede from America. I
      need someone who can write it up so it's legal. What
      do you know about writing those ballot initiatives?"

      I'm not sure why, but at this point I decided to play
      it straight, as if this were a client call about a
      routine legal problem that I had been retained to
      advise about. I think I decided to go that route
      primarily because my friend plainly wasn't joking. He
      sounded genuinely distressed. Plus, you just don't
      hang up on college buds when they get nuts.

      "We can't have these multilateral invasions where
      Cheney just takes out third world countries without
      even asking Europe," he said.

      "Uni," I said.

      "What?"

      "Unilateral."

      "Don't get technical on me dude. I'm asking for your
      help here."

      "Alright. But it's not like we're talking about
      writing up a personal injury complaint. You're talking
      about . . . I know we shouldn't even be having this
      conversation on cell phones . . . but you're talking
      about overthrowing the most powerful government in the
      world. And I'm not sure there's really any way to do
      that, you know, legally. But if you can put together
      the movement and, I don't know, get the people behind
      you . . . "

      "Bro� "

      "Yeah."

      "This a joke to you? Because I'm calling you about
      doing what's got to be done. We can't be in the same
      country with these people. I'm calling you about it."

      "I mean, what about the emigration option? What about
      Amsterdam? Vancouver? What about Madrid? They got hot
      chicks, and they all hate Bush."

      "No freaking way man. I'm not letting Bush keep
      California. It's too good for him."

      "Right. Listen, you don't need a lawyer. What you need
      is a guerrilla commander, like a dude who can, you
      know, defeat federal armies and overthrow regimes.
      Stuff like that. My point is, they didn't have that
      class at Hastings. You need like a Fidel and a Che.
      Guys like that."

      "It's not gonna be like that. Listen to me, it's all
      about non-violence, like Gandhi. You know about Gandhi
      right?

      "I've heard of him, yeah. Look the feds will start
      arresting people for trea�"

      "Dude, everyone wants this. If we all resist at once,
      they can't do anything. Boom, Schwarzenegger's
      president of the Republic of California. I've been
      talking to people all week, and that's what everyone
      wants."

      "You still up in Tahoe?"

      "Naw, down in Santa Cruz for a little surfing with my
      bro."

      "Nice."

      "And don't worry about the signatures. Once you get
      the proposition written up, I'll get the signatures.
      People are all stirred up, for real."

      "Maybe I can find one of those ballot initiatives on
      Google and see how it works," I offered.

      "Sweet dude. We have to get it on there for the next
      election. Oh yeah, it's all set up. I got the gig with
      the kayak company in Chile; four months; flying out,
      end of next week. The Chileans got some tasty
      whitewater in the Andes, it's gonna be sweet. As soon
      as I get back though, we've got to get on this."

      You heard it here first. The Californian Revolution
      begins . . . after this year's Chilean whitewater
      kayak season.

      November 19, 2004

      Russ Stein is a paralegal in Boston.

      Copyright � 2004 LewRockwell.com

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