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WHO'LL GET ON THE PLANE? by Janet Kira Lessin worldpolyamory@aol.com

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  • Janet Kira Lessin
    WHO LL GET ON THE PLANE? by Janet Kira Lessin worldpolyamory@aol.com The biggest lesson September 11th taught many of us is that it s time to shit or get off
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 16, 2006
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      WHO'LL GET ON THE PLANE? by Janet Kira Lessin worldpolyamory@...

      The biggest lesson September 11th taught many of us is that it's time
      to shit or get off the pot. In our circle of friends and intimates,
      many decided to get married (yes monogamously) while others removed
      themselves from long-suffering dead-end relationships. Our Oahu
      friends who had traveled to Zegg last summer to study community,
      suddenly stopped "wanting" community, (which kept it from never
      happening and remaining forever in the future), and moved in together

      Sasha and I looked at each other and pondered about what we would
      contribute to humanity in the remaining days of our dance. We too,
      always dreamed of community and a circle of lovers of 6-12 adults,
      all loving each other and relating on all chakras.

      Sasha had that lifestyle for many years in his previous marriage
      before I came along. Two or three weekends a month, his circle of
      about 10 loving friends would come together and play, exercise, hike,
      swim and then make love in a group. They encouraged each participant
      to be open, and authentic, expressing their emotions when they
      occurred. The next morning they would share breakfast while they
      debriefed, and reflected on the feelings that came up for them the
      during the love-in and what was up for them now.

      With Sasha's divorce almost 5 years ago, that group fell apart and is
      now scattered in various locations around the globe. Despite all,
      Sash and I maintain the vision. However, dreams and reality are often
      two different things. Sasha and I easily find those who are attracted
      to us. They love us and want to make love to us, however, Maui isn't
      actually the cheapest place to live and may people we meet in our
      travels or who come to visit us are reluctant to bite the bullet,
      commit and stay.

      So what to do? Inspired by the saying, "If you build it, they will
      come", Sasha and I decided to seek the funding necessary to expand
      our home to make it large enough for community to happen. Despite all
      the odds, a mortgage loan came through. Perhaps it seems crazy to
      refinance an almost paid off house and begin a 30-year mortgage at
      our age, but we envision our future family. We see a line family with
      members of multiple generations and races. Since I am childless, my
      hope is that perhaps we can "marry" some others, create a trust, and
      raise some young-uns together.

      There aren't many polys on Maui, so Sasha and I look elsewhere for
      those to date. With winter upon us, many potential beloveds once
      again come to Hawaii to escape the cold. We have talked to some on
      the phone or on the internet who want to meet us. The "dating season"
      for the Lessins is about to begin. While many of you may have more
      conventional opportunities to date if you are in a location with a
      larger population to select from, Sash and I must do what we must.

      This model of dating that Sasha and I find ourselves in involves
      having sex with more candidates than I previously thought I'd be
      comfortable with. As I let down my hair and allow my more liberal
      self to emerge, I find that I'm having fun (in a way). My child wants
      those I love to stay and fall in love with me. That seems to be my
      more "natural" self. Yet I am beginning to embrace my Inner Sexy Self
      and enjoy the adventure of getting to know people, daring to be
      vulnerable while not having my usually required guarantees and
      assurances that love has to look a certain way.

      Letting go feels good. Loving what is real in the moment also feels
      good and accepting myself and my reactions I may have after an
      adventure allows me to grow and expand beyond what I previously

      With the love of my Sasha, I feel safe enough to spread my wings and
      fly. I feel confident enough to face just about anything. I'm no
      longer afraid to feel all of my emotions and meet them honestly,
      allow their full intensity. With Sasha's love, I see that my
      emotions; real, authentic and intense, are valid to both of our
      ecologies. I at last know unconditional love and with such love, I
      have learned to love myself.

      As I learn to love myself more my extended family may gather around
      me. Some may chose to stay, to do life with me and Sasha, to throw
      their hats in the ring with us and face whatever life delivers us.
      And if not....

      Sasha and I have each other to dance with until the music stops. We
      know not whether or not we'll physically be together as we die. Yet
      we realize that we've always been together as we always will be. And
      in that, I have last found peace.

      Please take my hand, sweetheart, and journey forward with me and face
      the new year together. May we always be authentic and tell our
      personal truth. May we always be real and sing our true song. May we
      always maintain our integrity and grow in grace and beauty as we
      encounter each trial and tribulation and see them as the blessings
      they really are.
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