WHO'LL GET ON THE PLANE? by Janet Kira Lessin email@example.com
- WHO'LL GET ON THE PLANE? by Janet Kira Lessin worldpolyamory@...
The biggest lesson September 11th taught many of us is that it's time
to shit or get off the pot. In our circle of friends and intimates,
many decided to get married (yes monogamously) while others removed
themselves from long-suffering dead-end relationships. Our Oahu
friends who had traveled to Zegg last summer to study community,
suddenly stopped "wanting" community, (which kept it from never
happening and remaining forever in the future), and moved in together
Sasha and I looked at each other and pondered about what we would
contribute to humanity in the remaining days of our dance. We too,
always dreamed of community and a circle of lovers of 6-12 adults,
all loving each other and relating on all chakras.
Sasha had that lifestyle for many years in his previous marriage
before I came along. Two or three weekends a month, his circle of
about 10 loving friends would come together and play, exercise, hike,
swim and then make love in a group. They encouraged each participant
to be open, and authentic, expressing their emotions when they
occurred. The next morning they would share breakfast while they
debriefed, and reflected on the feelings that came up for them the
during the love-in and what was up for them now.
With Sasha's divorce almost 5 years ago, that group fell apart and is
now scattered in various locations around the globe. Despite all,
Sash and I maintain the vision. However, dreams and reality are often
two different things. Sasha and I easily find those who are attracted
to us. They love us and want to make love to us, however, Maui isn't
actually the cheapest place to live and may people we meet in our
travels or who come to visit us are reluctant to bite the bullet,
commit and stay.
So what to do? Inspired by the saying, "If you build it, they will
come", Sasha and I decided to seek the funding necessary to expand
our home to make it large enough for community to happen. Despite all
the odds, a mortgage loan came through. Perhaps it seems crazy to
refinance an almost paid off house and begin a 30-year mortgage at
our age, but we envision our future family. We see a line family with
members of multiple generations and races. Since I am childless, my
hope is that perhaps we can "marry" some others, create a trust, and
raise some young-uns together.
There aren't many polys on Maui, so Sasha and I look elsewhere for
those to date. With winter upon us, many potential beloveds once
again come to Hawaii to escape the cold. We have talked to some on
the phone or on the internet who want to meet us. The "dating season"
for the Lessins is about to begin. While many of you may have more
conventional opportunities to date if you are in a location with a
larger population to select from, Sash and I must do what we must.
This model of dating that Sasha and I find ourselves in involves
having sex with more candidates than I previously thought I'd be
comfortable with. As I let down my hair and allow my more liberal
self to emerge, I find that I'm having fun (in a way). My child wants
those I love to stay and fall in love with me. That seems to be my
more "natural" self. Yet I am beginning to embrace my Inner Sexy Self
and enjoy the adventure of getting to know people, daring to be
vulnerable while not having my usually required guarantees and
assurances that love has to look a certain way.
Letting go feels good. Loving what is real in the moment also feels
good and accepting myself and my reactions I may have after an
adventure allows me to grow and expand beyond what I previously
With the love of my Sasha, I feel safe enough to spread my wings and
fly. I feel confident enough to face just about anything. I'm no
longer afraid to feel all of my emotions and meet them honestly,
allow their full intensity. With Sasha's love, I see that my
emotions; real, authentic and intense, are valid to both of our
ecologies. I at last know unconditional love and with such love, I
have learned to love myself.
As I learn to love myself more my extended family may gather around
me. Some may chose to stay, to do life with me and Sasha, to throw
their hats in the ring with us and face whatever life delivers us.
And if not....
Sasha and I have each other to dance with until the music stops. We
know not whether or not we'll physically be together as we die. Yet
we realize that we've always been together as we always will be. And
in that, I have last found peace.
Please take my hand, sweetheart, and journey forward with me and face
the new year together. May we always be authentic and tell our
personal truth. May we always be real and sing our true song. May we
always maintain our integrity and grow in grace and beauty as we
encounter each trial and tribulation and see them as the blessings
they really are.