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Re: Secondary relationships

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  • sabrinanolacd
    Hello, << How long do they last? >> It is very difficult to get a secondary relationship to last for very long. Nobody likes the idea
    Message 1 of 108 , Nov 4, 2001
      Hello,<br><br><< How long do they last?
      >><br><br>It is very difficult to get a secondary relationship
      to last for very long. Nobody likes the idea that
      they are playing "second fiddle" to anyone. I've never
      had a secondary relationship that lasted long at all,
      and the longest my wife has been able to maintain any
      has been about six months. Most of her boyfriends
      have left because they were looking for a woman to
      settle down with.<br><br><br><< What drives you to
      want to be poly? >><br><br>I don't *want* to be
      poly; I just am. Sometimes I think life would be less
      complex if I was not, but at the same time, I don't
      regret being poly at all. I love it, I think the
      benefits way outweigh the
      difficulties.<br><br><br><< Tell us about some of your experiences.
      >><br><br>It seems like I only wind up finding men who want a
      quickie. I have yet to have a girlfriend outside the
      marriage, and I think my wife would object to it anyway.
      Her boyfriends have mostly been nice men, but were
      uncomfortable around me, which is a shame. One of her
      boyfriends, in fact, seemed to get a kick out of pretending
      she was having an "illicit affair" with him. I
      suppose he would not have cared to know that she was
      giving me "blow by blow" accounts after their dates,
      LOL!<br><br>One stressful situation we've encountered has been
      when one of us has a boyfriend and the other does not.
      This isn't so bad for me, when my wife has a boyfriend
      -- I just don't get jealous at all -- but when the
      reverse happens, we seem to have trouble weathering it.
      I've wound up breaking things off with a guy once or
      twice just to keep the peace at home.<br><br>I think
      the ideal situation for us would be to find a couple
      with a bi-male, so that the husband and I could form a
      special friendship, and so that our wives would have
      someone to talk to about all this (I don't think she has
      ever completely come to grips with my sexuality), and
      so the four of us could do social things together.
      But even just finding other poly people seems so
      difficult in New Orleans, that I just doubt this will ever
      happen.<br><br>xoxo<br>Sabrina (bi poly CD in New Orleans)
    • ladude40
      I am 44 and live in Alexandria..
      Message 108 of 108 , Feb 10, 2002
        I am 44 and live in Alexandria..
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