Re: Secondary relationships
- Hello,<br><br><< How long do they last?
>><br><br>It is very difficult to get a secondary relationshipto last for very long. Nobody likes the idea that
they are playing "second fiddle" to anyone. I've never
had a secondary relationship that lasted long at all,
and the longest my wife has been able to maintain any
has been about six months. Most of her boyfriends
have left because they were looking for a woman to
settle down with.<br><br><br><< What drives you to
want to be poly? >><br><br>I don't *want* to be
poly; I just am. Sometimes I think life would be less
complex if I was not, but at the same time, I don't
regret being poly at all. I love it, I think the
benefits way outweigh the
difficulties.<br><br><br><< Tell us about some of your experiences.
>><br><br>It seems like I only wind up finding men who want aquickie. I have yet to have a girlfriend outside the
marriage, and I think my wife would object to it anyway.
Her boyfriends have mostly been nice men, but were
uncomfortable around me, which is a shame. One of her
boyfriends, in fact, seemed to get a kick out of pretending
she was having an "illicit affair" with him. I
suppose he would not have cared to know that she was
giving me "blow by blow" accounts after their dates,
LOL!<br><br>One stressful situation we've encountered has been
when one of us has a boyfriend and the other does not.
This isn't so bad for me, when my wife has a boyfriend
-- I just don't get jealous at all -- but when the
reverse happens, we seem to have trouble weathering it.
I've wound up breaking things off with a guy once or
twice just to keep the peace at home.<br><br>I think
the ideal situation for us would be to find a couple
with a bi-male, so that the husband and I could form a
special friendship, and so that our wives would have
someone to talk to about all this (I don't think she has
ever completely come to grips with my sexuality), and
so the four of us could do social things together.
But even just finding other poly people seems so
difficult in New Orleans, that I just doubt this will ever
happen.<br><br>xoxo<br>Sabrina (bi poly CD in New Orleans)