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Never Wanted To Be

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  • Debbie Budnick
    His lashes stuck with palm prints to my face. I never wanted to be what I always hate. A new scent from old regrets like the backhand from my fathers glance.
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 13 11:40 AM
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      His lashes stuck
      with palm prints to my face.
      I never wanted to be
      what I always hate.

      A new scent
      from old regrets
      like the backhand
      from my fathers glance.

      And I'm crucified
      if I believed
      the cross meant anything.

      Oh heaven sent him?
      Well I forgot him.
      It didn't help me pay the rent.

      And in the view of 'Perfect Town'.
      I was the bitch with a broken crown.

      I'm just trying to figure out
      why I did this. (Why I did this!)

      Believe me!
      (Believe me!)
      You need me
      cause I'm fucked up.

      And I'm just trying to figure out
      why I'm so in love with doubt.
      Why am I so afraid?

      What is it that keeps me up at night? [x2]

      The passion the feel,
      the tear in the seal,
      the lies and the lies
      and the lies that I was told.

      Why did I do this?
      Why oh why oh why?
      And how can I fix this
      How could how could I?

      And I'm just trying to figure out
      why I'm so in love with doubt.
      Why am I so afraid of myself?

      What is it that keeps me up at night? [x2]

      The passion the fail,
      the blood in the sail,
      the lies and the lies
      and the lies that I was told.

      I'm still so afraid
      (Give me!)
      of the life I'd like to live.
      (A reason to go on!)
      [x2]

      Give me a reason to go on alone.
      I'm still afraid.

      And all I ever wanted was to not feel alone.
      All I ever wanted was to find my way home.
      All I ever wanted was to not feel alone
      but that's exactly what I got
      'cause that's exactly what I'm owed....

      Debbie Budnick

      my books: "The Writer Within", "One Road, One Poet", "Mirror of My Thoughts", and "Life Problems" can be found on PublishAmerica.com

       

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