The Capitals open a new rink
THE NEWSLETTER OF THE PHL WASHINGTON CAPITALS
********CHIEF EDITOR PHIL A. BUSTER********
CAPS OPEN NEW RINK TO LAUNCH NEW SEASON
“When you see an opportunity……Capitalize!”
Washington DC - The Washington Capitals of the new Pioneer Hockey League cut the ribbon to open their new hockey rink today. General Manager and Team Owner Thom Ayers conducted the ceremony as fans, members of the team, their families and the media looked on. The rink or hockey complex will be formerly known as the Capital Building. The dome-shaped building has fifty skyboxes each named after a state. Forty-eight of the fifty skyboxes are now complete. New York and New Jersey will be completed by the next week-end as there was something corrupted in the construction. More concrete had to be poured as there was some type of impurities in the first mix. Rumor has it that the FBI has taken samples for further investigation.
Along those same lines, the Caps’ organization was looking for a soprano to sing the National Anthem on opening day, and Meadow Soprano showed up. Tony asked if we would do him a favor. One of the Caps’ VPs responded, “What???? You gut NO envelope????...” ………He’s recovering in ICU, and should be back with the organization in four months.
Ayers also announced that Dave “Cap” Attell would be the Head Coach assisted by former Bruins’ player and Coach Terry O’Reilly and former Bruins’ player Kenny Linseman. Andy Moog has been signed to take on the duties as the Goalie Coach.
When the media asked if a captain had been selected, Cap Attell commented, “We made that announcement a couple of days ago. Where were you?” Cap, by the way, wore a red hoodie, and throughout the press conference remained evasive. (Hmmm……reminds this writer of his favorite football coach.)
When asked if the team knew who would be the opponent in the inaugural game, Ayers stated, “I think it would be appropriate that we play the Ottawa Senators, don’t you?” A reporter commented that the Senators are not a team in the Pioneer League. Ayers responded, “See, those Senators are never in session.”
GM Ayers also announced that the team mascot named Cappy would be introduced next week at a special news conference.
In other CAPS’ News……the Caps signed an agreement with the Casper City Ghosts as a minor league affiliate. The Ghosts were formally the Erie Sounds. GM Ayers remarked that that seemed appropriate as our minor league system, as this point anyway, appears a little scary. The former minor league affiliate was the Polar Caps, but the fan following sort of drifted away.
GM Thom Ayers was just sitting around waiting for the Draft to move on and he was thinking……Do you know that Six degrees of Kevin Bacon thing?....that sort of applies to the Caps. Well use your imagination on this one for a minute……
Fedorov, Bryzgalov and Varlamov all end in “ov.” Ovechkin begins with “ov.” Fleischmann and Morrisonn both end in “nn” while Green, Ovechkin and Semin end in “n.” Fedorov and Morrisonn have two “o”’s and Laich’s first name is also the same. Alzner, Bryzgalov and Schultz have “z’’s while Backstrom, Ovechkin. Jurcina and Schultz have “c”’s.
There are thirteen players with a total of 169 letters. If you divide that by 13, it averages out to 13 letters per player.
All thirteen players have a letter appearing twice in their names. Karl Alzner has two “L”’s. Nicklas Backstrom has two “K”’s. Sergei Fedorov ahs two “R”’s. Tomas Fleischmann has two “N”’s. Mike Green has two “E”’s. Milan Jurcina has two “i”’s. Brooks Laich has two “O”’s. Shoane Morrisonn has two “S”’s. Jeff Schultz has two “F”’s. Simeon Varlamov has two “V”’s. Ilya Bryzgalov has two “Y”’s. Alexander Ovechkin has two “A””s. And….I have too much time on my hands, or I ate too much alphabet soup as a kid.
DID YOU KNOW?
Racecar spelled backwards is racecar?
Season Tickets are still available on a limited basis. If you can’t be at the game, remember to either watch it on WCAP-TV or listen on WCAP radio. And, remember for those attending games we have the Cap Stimulus Program where the first five people at the gate will get free Caps’ caps. (Is that a typo???....Five people????...Don’t you mean five hundred????...No…our organization is just cheap at this point….) Besides, it would take an Act of Congress to get that cheap owner to give something away.
This is Thom Ayers reporting from DC