Pax Neo-TeX: the lampoon
- Act 1: Clean-Sweep Wedgies
Woven with rose-like thorns -- but not rose-like
beauty -- Pax Neo-TeX pierces the biases,
opinions, and faiths of most readers. Realize
that biases, opinions, and faiths are not
knowledge. We are knowledge. You may doubt that
we are the Truth, but since we say we are the
Truth, and the Truth does not lie, therefore
clearly, we are the Truth. If you still doubt we
are the Truth, prepare to be barraged with heaps
and heaps and heaps of verbiage on how great we
are, and how we will take over the world, goo goo
Prelude to the Overture
Pax Romana ruled 2000 years ago. Pax Neo-TeX will
rule tomorrow. So what does the word Pax mean?
Lewis' An Elementary Latin Dictionary has this to
pâx pâcis, f [PAC-], a compact, agreement,
treaty, peace, treaty of peace,
reconciliation: cum eis facta pax non erit
pax: maritima: pro emptâ pace bellum
intulerunt: pacem petere, Cs.: pangere, L.:
Nulla dies pacem hanc rumpet, V.: iura, bella
atque paces penes paucos erant, S. -- Person:
the goddess of peace, Peace, H., O., N. --
Concord, tranquillity, peace, harmony:
videndum est cum omnibusne pax esse possit,
an, etc.: suscipienda bella, ut in pace
vivatur: bello ac pace, both in war and in
peace, L.: in pace, H.: in mediâ pace, L.:
paces bonae, i.e. the blessings of peace, H.
-- Of the gods, grace, favor, pardon,
assistance: ab Iove Opt. Max. pacem ac veniam
peto: pacis deûm exposcendae causâ, L.:
exorat pacem divom, V. -- Abl. with a
possess. pron. or gen, by the good leave, by
permission, with all respect to: pace quod
fiat tuâ, without offence to you, T.: pace
horum dixerim: hoc pace dicam tuâ: Claudi
pace loquar, L. -- As an exclamation, peace!
silence! enough!: capillus passus prolixe...
pax! T. -- Dominion, empire: pacem nostram
metuere, Ta. -- Fig., of the mind, peace,
tranquillity: pax animi, sleep, O.: mentis,
O.: temperantiâ pacem animis adfert. -- Of
things, peace, rest, quiet: flumen cum pace
delabens, H.: pacem voltus habet, is
Clearly, the so-called Latin "scholars" are
aiming to make our lives difficult with such long
word definitions, so we will just give our own
pax, a wedgie.
And what does the term Neo-TeX mean? The Free
On-line Dictionary of Computing defines the word
TeX <publication> /tekh/ An extremely
powerful macro-based text formatter written
by Donald Knuth, very popular in academia,
especially in the computer-science community
(it is good enough to have displaced Unix
troff, the other favoured formatter, even at
many Unix installations). [...]
But this is very uncool, so we will once more
give our own definition:
Neo-TeX, something very great and wonderful.
So, what the sentence above means is this: "The
Roman Wedgie ruled 2000 years ago. The Great
Wedgie will rule tomorrow."
Neo-TeX is not a philosophy or an ideology. It is
a flexible tool: how this tool works, whether it
produces any physical results, nobody knows...
but that is not important! Neo-TeX is beyond
physics, beyond empiricism: it is a whole new way
of thinking! Wait, a way of thinking is a
philosophy, and we just said that Neo-TeX is not
a philosophy. Gah, who cares.
Losers flee Neo-TeX. They wait for God while
reading Waiting for Godot. Winners absorb
Neo-TeX. Leonardo da Vinci was a closet
Neo-TeXer. How can it be otherwise? Conformists
flee Neo-TeX. Nonconformists embrace Neo-TeX.
Nonconformists, by embracing Neo-TeX, they become
conformists of Neo-TeX, but they are still
nonconformists. Yes, it is profound.
Pax Neo-TeX begets Pax ULAW as demonstrated in
some part of this rant which I am sure you have
not read yet. It delivers open-ended justice,
whatever that means. It produces non-aging life,
prosperity and romance -- for me, that is. :-B
:-B :-B Are you ready?
Scene 1: Are You Ready?
In the nineteenth century, Lord Acton identified
how individualistic ideas most vehemently opposed
by the Establishment became the enduring ideas of
the future. For example, Mesmer's crackpot idea
of "animal magnetism"... oops, that is a
counter-example. But as the saying goes:
A witty saying proves nothing. -- Voltaire
Politics, religion and philosophy arise from
truths manipulated into illusions. Recall I said
that Neo-TeX is not a philosophy, even if it is a
philosophy... damn, why not just agree that
Neo-TeX is great? Politicians are evil: they
enact laws against wholesome activities like
rape, murder, looting, and so on.
Who will win Earth's final war? Bacteria, of
course. But this answer will not allow me to
conjure up some metaphorical struggle of Good vs.
[Enter a Neo-TeX Author]
During a publishing meeting, a Neo-TeX author
stipulated something. Whenever Neo-TeX stipulates
anything, it requires no proof, as Neo-TeX is
Truth. Anyway, politics, religion and philosophy
yield "anticivilizations" -- do you like my inane
coinage? -- and the way to overcome them is to
abandon today's object-oriented thinking, and
embrace wedgie-oriented thinking. The most
profitable form of wedgie-oriented thinking today
is wedgie-control thinking: Scene 3 shows that
controlling a wedgie is better than being
controlled by a wedgie, but you do not need Scene
3 to know that.
Today, with wedgie-control thinking, one can
undermine neocheaters, by giving them wedgies.
Winning Earth's final war -- I mean, just before
bacteria take over -- requires wedgie control
combined with nonexistent Neo-TeX Bullets, which
should be available in 2006, but when 2006 comes
I will alter the date here. But no need to wait
for 2006; just memorize these definitions and do
not look up a dictionary:
* mysticism, the self-delusion that non-reality
is real. No, Neo-TeX Bullets are real.
* neocheaters, people who manipulate
mysticisms. I can just use the word "liars",
but that is uncool. The Liberal Left are
neocheaters. The Religious Right are
neocheaters. In fact, everyone is a
neocheater, except me.
* neocheating, obvious.
* neothinking, wedgie-oriented thinking.
* Taxation based on income is evil; taxation
based on consumption is good. If you are
poor, you should study less.
* Use "+" and "=" signs to make your claims
look rigorous and learned. E.g.
Wedgie-control = Wedgie + Control.
* Neo-TeX is great, Neo-TeX is eternal, Neo-TeX
"I have memorized these definitions; now what?"
Now I will try to impress you by naming several
luminaries who concur with Neo-TeX: Baruch
Spinoza, America's founding fathers, Vincent van
Gogh, Jackson Pollock...
(continued at http://bicoherent.topcities.com/ntx.html)