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OT: Why I've been AWOL lately.

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  • Charbeneau, Chuck
    Just a little cathartic writing regarding my real life(tm) work. http://www.perlmonks.org/index.pl?node_id=201853 Chuck cacharbe Charbeneau (ccharbeneau at
    Message 1 of 11 , Oct 1, 2002
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      Just a little cathartic writing regarding my real life(tm) work.

      http://www.perlmonks.org/index.pl?node_id=201853

      Chuck "cacharbe" Charbeneau (ccharbeneau at lear.com)
      - Slacker Chimp
      - Code Monkey
      - Mynex's "gopher so he can sleep and have a smoky treat" Monkey
    • bd_92
      ... this thread=comedy gold...
      Message 2 of 11 , Oct 1, 2002
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        --- In pcgen@y..., "Charbeneau, Chuck" <ccharbeneau@l...> wrote:
        > Just a little cathartic writing regarding my real life(tm) work.
        >
        > http://www.perlmonks.org/index.pl?node_id=201853
        >



        this thread=comedy gold...
      • Charbeneau, Chuck
        ... As an actor / Improviser, I have always said that there is nothing funnier than real life. That I could never Create something funnier than my true
        Message 3 of 11 , Oct 1, 2002
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          > From: bd_92 [mailto:bd_92@...]
          > Subject: [pcgen] Re: OT: Why I've been AWOL lately.
          >

          > > http://www.perlmonks.org/index.pl?node_id=201853
          > >

          > this thread=comedy gold...

          As an actor / Improviser, I have always said that there is nothing funnier
          than real life. That I could never "Create" something funnier than my true
          experiences. I'd like to think that that is why I am as successful as I am.

          Now if I can only figure out how to apply that to my programming job.

          Chuck.
        • STILES, BRAD
          ... Chuck, as I read your narrative, I was crying and laughing at the same time. Crying because I ve lived in that sort of environment for the last seven
          Message 4 of 11 , Oct 1, 2002
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            > -----Original Message-----
            > From: Charbeneau, Chuck
            >
            > > From: bd_92 [mailto:bd_92@...]
            > > Subject: [pcgen] Re: OT: Why I've been AWOL lately.
            > >
            >
            > > > http://www.perlmonks.org/index.pl?node_id=201853
            > > >
            >
            > > this thread=comedy gold...
            >
            > As an actor / Improviser, I have always said that there is
            > nothing funnier than real life. That I could never "Create"
            > something funnier than my true experiences. I'd like to
            > think that that is why I am as successful as I am.

            Chuck, as I read your narrative, I was crying and laughing at the same time.
            Crying because I've lived in that sort of environment for the last seven
            years, and laughing because I've mangaged to avoid the worst of it by being
            an a$$hole.

            Believe it or not, the *government*, for whom I worked immediately prior to
            my current position, was *heaven* compared to the "organization" for which I
            work now.

            Brad
          • Charbeneau, Chuck
            ... The same as a wrote it. Trust me. ... Everyone calls me a prick, but everyone also comes to be when they have a tough job that everyone cringes at. Kinda
            Message 5 of 11 , Oct 1, 2002
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              > From: STILES, BRAD [mailto:BRAD.STILES@...]
              > Subject: RE: [pcgen] Re: OT: Why I've been AWOL lately.

              > Chuck, as I read your narrative, I was crying and laughing at
              > the same time.

              The same as a wrote it. Trust me.

              > Crying because I've lived in that sort of
              > environment for the last seven years, and laughing because
              > I've mangaged to avoid the worst of it by being an a$$hole.

              Everyone calls me a prick, but everyone also comes to be when they have a
              tough job that everyone cringes at. Kinda like the Dentist that Randy goes
              to in "Cryptonomicon", only without the thick glasses. I'm not paid to be
              someone's nice guy, I'm paid (though admittedly not enough, but times are
              tough) to be a Bad-ass coder.


              > Believe it or not, the *government*, for whom I worked
              > immediately prior to my current position, was *heaven*
              > compared to the "organization" for which I work now.

              Oh, I believe it.


              And today, the drama continues.

              Example:

              Them: "How come there is only one entry for each month?"
              Me: "You said that this was a monthly report, therefore, all data uploaded
              for a particular month updates any present data for that month and Site Id"
              Them: "But we might get it 1-9 times a month"
              Me: "Alright, but that isn't a monthly upload, and you just screwed me
              again (eighth time in 24 hours)"
              Them: "But it IS a monthly upload - We get it a few times a month" He
              exclaimed by means of explanation.
              Me: SILENCE

              You just can't argue with a moron. It's like handling Nuclear waste. It's
              not good, it's not evil, but for Christ's sake, don't get any on you!!

              Chuck.
            • Paul W. King
              ... Egad! That sounds like something from my job with the phone company. Them: Why doesn t customer X have service yet?!? Me: The job giving customer X
              Message 6 of 11 , Oct 2, 2002
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                > Them: "How come there is only one entry for each month?"
                > Me: "You said that this was a monthly report, therefore, all data
                > uploaded for a particular month updates any present data for that
                > month and Site Id"
                > Them: "But we might get it 1-9 times a month"
                > Me: "Alright, but that isn't a monthly upload, and you just
                > screwed me again (eighth time in 24 hours)"
                > Them: "But it IS a monthly upload - We get it a few times a month"
                > He exclaimed by means of explanation.
                > Me: SILENCE

                Egad! That sounds like something from my job with the phone company.

                Them: Why doesn't customer X have service yet?!?
                Me: The job giving customer X service requires a road bore to get
                across a state highway. We applied for a state permit two weeks ago,
                but the turn-around on state permits is about 60 days.
                Them: But why don't they have service?
                Me: I just told you.
                Them: But why don't they have service?
              • STILES, BRAD
                ... Just to take this even farther afield, the Darkwing Duck cartoon used to periodically use one of my now favorite admonitions to clueless users: Duh!
                Message 7 of 11 , Oct 2, 2002
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                  >
                  > [1] I have a patent application for the CluePhone{tm} -- you push a
                  > button, the person gains enlightenment. In the form of
                  > housecurrent to the headset.

                  Just to take this even farther afield, the Darkwing Duck cartoon used to
                  periodically use one of my now favorite admonitions to clueless users:

                  "Duh! Ring, ring! Pick up the clue phone!"

                  Brad
                • Keith Davies
                  ... Man, it s enough to make you wish cluebats were legal. Their use, that is. Then, if the person were physically present[1] the above might have been:
                  Message 8 of 11 , Oct 2, 2002
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                    On Wed, Oct 02, 2002 at 03:42:14PM +0000, Paul W. King wrote:
                    > > Them: "How come there is only one entry for each month?"
                    > > Me: "You said that this was a monthly report, therefore, all data
                    > > uploaded for a particular month updates any present data for that
                    > > month and Site Id"
                    > > Them: "But we might get it 1-9 times a month"
                    > > Me: "Alright, but that isn't a monthly upload, and you just
                    > > screwed me again (eighth time in 24 hours)"
                    > > Them: "But it IS a monthly upload - We get it a few times a month"
                    > > He exclaimed by means of explanation.
                    > > Me: SILENCE
                    >
                    > Egad! That sounds like something from my job with the phone company.
                    >
                    > Them: Why doesn't customer X have service yet?!?
                    > Me: The job giving customer X service requires a road bore to get
                    > across a state highway. We applied for a state permit two weeks ago,
                    > but the turn-around on state permits is about 60 days.
                    > Them: But why don't they have service?
                    > Me: I just told you.
                    > Them: But why don't they have service?

                    Man, it's enough to make you wish cluebats were legal. Their use, that
                    is. Then, if the person were physically present[1] the above might have
                    been:

                    Them: Why doesn't customer X have service yet?!?
                    Me: The job giving customer X service requires a road bore to get
                    across a state highway. We applied for a state permit two weeks
                    ago, but the turn-around on state permits is about 60 days.
                    Them: But why don't they have service?
                    Me: I just told you. <get cluebat>
                    Them: But why don't they have service?
                    Me: <WHAM!>

                    ClueBat: It Makes the Stupid Questions Go Away.{tm}

                    (just to make it even more OT, I'm reminded of a song by the Arrogant
                    Worms, _Malcolm Solves His Problems with a Chainsaw_; the bridge goes

                    Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw,
                    Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw,
                    Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw,
                    And he never has the same problems twice!

                    Emily, you're from Ontario. Y'ever see these guys?
                    )

                    [1] I have a patent application for the CluePhone{tm} -- you push a
                    button, the person gains enlightenment. In the form of housecurrent
                    to the headset.


                    Keith
                    --
                    Keith Davies
                    keith.davies@...

                    PCGen: <reaper/>, smartass
                    "You just can't argue with a moron. It's like handling Nuclear
                    waste. It's not good, it's not evil, but for Christ's sake, don't
                    get any on you!!" -- Chuck, PCGen mailing list
                  • Charbeneau, Chuck
                    ... We call it the Clue-By-Four ... I ll take two. Chuck.
                    Message 9 of 11 , Oct 2, 2002
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                      > ClueBat: It Makes the Stupid Questions Go Away.{tm}

                      We call it the Clue-By-Four


                      > [1] I have a patent application for the CluePhone{tm} -- you push a
                      > button, the person gains enlightenment. In the form of
                      > housecurrent to the headset.

                      I'll take two.

                      Chuck.
                    • Keith Davies
                      ... I ve always liked that term. ... Two master units (the ones with the special button)? You don t want the slave units. At least, not on *your* desk. How
                      Message 10 of 11 , Oct 2, 2002
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                        On Wed, Oct 02, 2002 at 12:40:03PM -0400, Charbeneau, Chuck wrote:
                        > > ClueBat: It Makes the Stupid Questions Go Away.{tm}
                        >
                        > We call it the Clue-By-Four

                        I've always liked that term.

                        > > [1] I have a patent application for the CluePhone{tm} -- you push a
                        > > button, the person gains enlightenment. In the form of
                        > > housecurrent to the headset.
                        >
                        > I'll take two.

                        Two master units (the ones with the special button)? You don't want the
                        slave units. At least, not on *your* desk. How many of them?


                        Keith
                        --
                        Keith Davies
                        keith.davies@...

                        PCGen: <reaper/>, smartass
                        "You just can't argue with a moron. It's like handling Nuclear
                        waste. It's not good, it's not evil, but for Christ's sake, don't
                        get any on you!!" -- Chuck, PCGen mailing list
                      • Emily Smirle
                        ... I m gonna kill the dog next door Ain t gonna bark anymore Cause this is judgment day The little runt has got to pay No more turds on my lawn That stupid
                        Message 11 of 11 , Oct 2, 2002
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                          Keith Davies wrote:

                          >just to make it even more OT, I'm reminded of a song by the Arrogant Worms, _Malcolm Solves His Problems with a Chainsaw_; the bridge goes
                          >
                          > Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw,
                          > Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw,
                          > Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw,
                          > And he never has the same problems twice!
                          >
                          >Emily, you're from Ontario. Y'ever see these guys?
                          >

                          I'm gonna kill the dog next door
                          Ain't gonna bark anymore
                          'Cause this is judgment day
                          The little runt has got to pay
                          No more turds on my lawn
                          That stupid mutt will soon be gone
                          I'm gonna kill kill kill
                          Kill kill kill kill that dog


                          Yup. :)
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