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Tom Curran article

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  • Karen
    I love this guy.... I know some of you hate the registration thing at Projo so here s his latest. Tom E. Curran: When dust clears, the Pats will . . .
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 23, 2003
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      I love this guy.... I know some of you hate the registration thing at Projo so here's his latest.
       
      Tom E. Curran: When dust clears, the Pats will . . .

      07/23/2003

      So the Patriots aren't working out at Bryant College anymore and you're not sure you want to go all the way up to the badlands of Massachusetts to check out training camp at Gillette Stadium.

      Save the time, save the gas, save the money. Here's your handy clip 'n save summary of what will happen by the end of camp. Put it on the fridge, on your dashboard, on the back of the clicker. Read it to your kids at bedtime. Recite it to an unsuspecting telemarketer. When they try to cut you off, read louder. Shout it from the highest mountain, let it echo off the tallest trees.

      Burn it. Chew it. Blow your nose in it. Or put it in the recycling bin. It's all up to you. In this land, you have certain freedoms.

      It's just important to remember that by the end of camp . . .

      The Patriots will not be one of the vogue picks to go to the Super Bowl from the AFC. Tennessee and Oakland will be.

      You won't miss Tebucky Jones.

      Or Victor Green.

      Or Greg (who stole my Robinson?) Randall.

      But you will miss Jerry Glanville.

      And you'll take too many Patriots in your fantasy football draft.

      Did you also know that by the end of camp . . .

      Otis Smith still will not have been decisively beaten out of a starting cornerback job.

      And you'll see why the team is giving Eugene Wilson every opportunity to win it.

      Chas Gessner will at least make the practice squad.

      An opposing cornerback will fall down trying to backpedal fast enough to keep pace with Bethel Johnson.

      J.R. Redmond will be cut.

      People will worry unnecessarily about Rosevelt Colvin.

      Daniel Graham will be the team's best offensive player.

      Ty Warren will not have won a starting job.

      But Dan Klecko might.

      And Jarvis Green will be back at defensive end.

      You should probably also be aware that by the end of camp . . .

      Lawyer Milloy will demonstrate the wrong way to deal with questions about his ballooning contract by belligerently suggesting he's Ronnie Lott, Gary Fencik and Rod Woodson rolled into one.

      Ty Law will demonstrate the right way to deal with questions about his ballooning contract and won't irritate anyone when he intimates he is Deion Sanders, Night Train Lane and Lester Hayes rolled into one.

      Nobody will have a better name than Buck Rasmussen.

      Sadly, Buck Rasmussen and his lyrical Louis L'Amour name will be back in Nebraska.

      Ken Walter will say that he didn't punt as badly as his statistics indicated last year. And he definitely won't acknowledge that he actually punted worse than the stats showed.

      Rookie Asante Samuel will return a punt for a touchdown.

      Damien Woody won't.

      Antowain Smith will pass his conditioning test on his first try.

      And rookie Tully Banta-Cain will have four preseason sacks.

      It should come as no surprise that by the end of camp . . .

      Adam Vinatieri will show no signs that his methodical and unassuming move toward the Hall of Fame is slowing down.

      You'll still be wondering if Patrick Pass will ever do anything noteworthy, just once.

      Christian Fauria will take his demotion to backup tight end like a man.

      David Patten won't be a starting wide receiver.

      Mike Cloud will do enough good things to get everyone excited and will make the team.

      Unfortunately, by the end of camp . . .

      The hopes that Antwoine Womack is the second coming of O.J. Anderson will be crushed . . . and Antowain with a w-a-i-n will be the opening-day starter.

      Marc Edwards's work at fullback will be sorely missed.

      And Troy Brown will be visibly slower.

      On a positive note, by the end of camp . . .

      Tom Brady's chemistry with both Daniel Graham and Deion Branch will be obvious.

      And he'll show no ill effects from his shoulder injury.

      Rodney Harrison will cover a whole lot better than everyone thought he could.

      And the Pats will go 3-1 in the preseason.

      Still, it's inevitable that by the end of camp . . .

      Bill Belichick will do a slow burn about the logistics of having players staying off-site in a hotel.

      Defensive coaches will be relieved that they won't have to worry about Richie Anderson twice a game anymore.

      Or Larry Centers.

      But the offensive coaches will be worried about DeWayne Robertson . . . and Takeo Spikes.

      It will be a blast for the fans being at the stadium as opposed to Bryant.

      I will hit 50 buckets of balls at the driving range down the street on Route 1.

      And I will still be prone to a nasty screaming hook that breaks like a slider.

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