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HMOs - Questions & Answers

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  • Keepshorse@aol.com
    Most Commonly Asked Questions Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, HEY MOE. Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 2, 2003
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      Most Commonly Asked Questions

      Q. What does HMO stand for?

      A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.

      Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

      A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. These doctors basically fall into two categories-those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry; the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and has a diploma from! a Third World Country.

      Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

      A. No. Only those you need.

      Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

      A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

      Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

      A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

      Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?

      A. Poke yourself in the eye.

      Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

      A. You really shouldn't do that.

      Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?

      A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $15 co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at it.

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