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USDA Pipe Dreams

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  • cohensmilk1
    To hell with the truth! As the history of the world proves, the truth has no bearing on anything. It s irrelevant and immaterial, as the lawyers say. The lie
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 29, 2014

      "To hell with the truth! As the history of the world
      proves, the truth has no bearing on anything. It's
      irrelevant and immaterial, as the lawyers say. The
      lie of a pipe dream is what gives life to the whole
      misbegotten mad lot of us, drunk or sober."
      - Eugene O'Neill, The Iceman Cometh

      *     *     *     *

      California is suffering its driest drought in
      the past 500 years of recorded history.

      USDA's Dan Glickman has a pipe dream representing
      America's newest night terror.

      Will the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA)
      bill American taxpayers eleventy-nine zillion dollars
      to construct a water pipeline from the number-one dairy
      cow-dense county in America, Tulare, California, to New
      York's Great Lake Eerie? Now, that would represent
      Superior planning! Lake Erie contains 116 cubic miles of
      water, and there are 1.1 trillion gallons of water in
      a cubic mile, so that piping Lake Erie to Tulare county
      would deliver about 128 trillion gallons of water and
      would immediately put an end to California's drought.
      Now, that is a made-to-water Glickmannish pipe dream!

      On July 19, 2014, Secretary of USDA Dan Glickman wrote:

      "This week, I visited the small town of Cameron Creek Colony
      in Tulare County, California and saw firsthand the challenges
      drought poses, particularly for those living in rural communities.
      About 10 percent of Cameron Creek Colony residents have no access
      to water because their wells have run dry."

      Imagine that you own a home one acre of property, and have
      drilled a well to satisfy the water needs of all who live there.
      Now, imagine that you share your property with 65 cows. That
      is the average per-acre density of bovines in Tulare county.

      In his duh moment, Glickman ignores one reason why Tulare's
      wells have run dry. Tulare county is home to 464,000 cows,
      each one drinking an average of 30 of gallons of water per
      day while producing an average of 6 gallons of milk per day.
      (Imagine 14 million gallon jugs of water each day; 5 billion
      per year). For those children adept at reciting the alphabet
      (USDA employees are excluded here), the difference of 24
      gallons per cow can be found midway between the letters "o"
      and "q". Such dark yellow solutions do not make for
      thirst-tempting well water.

      Glickman once worked for NASA as a rocket scientist whose
      expertise was analyzing how to pump water from Ganymede to
      the surface of Jupiter without hitting one of Saturn's rings
      before moistening the far side of Uranus.

      Glickman continued:

      "Fortunately, USDA is able to help this community, and 73,000
      residents living in other communities across California, through
      $9.7 million in grants to help other rural California communities
      that have experienced a significant decline in the quantity or
      quality of drinking water due to an emergency. The nearby city of
      Farmersville, California is receiving a $500,000 USDA grant to
      construct pipelines connecting Cameron Creek Colony to the
      Farmersville water main and linking residents to the city water
      system...These grants are triple the amount we committed to when
      President Obama and I visited California in February..."

      One day, a successor to Glickman might recognize the inefficiency
      of animal agriculture which depletes underground water resources
      faster than a hot day in Hades county, California. I have driven
      my car through Tulare. Even with the windows closed and the air
      conditioning on high, the stench was worse than I ever imagined
      could be the odor of rotting flesh comprising hell's atmosphere.

      *     *     *     *

      "Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man
      who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another."
      - Homer

      ***Copy & Post Column to Facebook & Other Social Networking Sites***

      Robert Cohen

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