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Nothing Petite About Bulking Your Body by Eating Creme

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  • cohensmilk1
    Experts are clueless. - a Steve Jobs oxymoron * * * * Dairy experts (oxy-morons) and department of education experts (just plain morons) have
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 16 11:59 PM

      "Experts are clueless."
      - a Steve Jobs oxymoron

      *     *     *     *

      Dairy "experts" (oxy-morons) and department of education
      "experts" (just plain morons) have joint-ventured their
      cluelessness to a new extreme by introducing Chobani's
      Greek yogurts to America's school lunchrooms, believing
      that children need dairy to be healthy, and will enjoy
      their growth-hormone rich meals.

      Can things get worse for little cow's milk-consuming humans?
      Petite? Crème? Anybody see the new oxymoron?

      Ready to take advantage of accelerating consumer ignorance
      through taste bud pleasure, Stonyfield will be coming out
      with a new summer treat which they will call Petite Crème.

      In 2007, Greek Yogurt captured less than 1 percent
      of the United States market. Seven years later in 2014,
      Greek-style yogurt sales account for 47 percent of
      supermarket yogurt sales, and for good reason.

      American consumers in their rush to become Hindenburgs
      (blimps) love eating thick/creamy fruit-filled desserts
      for breakfast, lunch, and snacks while deluding themselves
      that they are eating health food.

      The label will depict a spoon standing straight up
      amidst a container of thick cheese-like pus, and
      that is just what this new product is, according to
      Stonyfield. It's sweetened cream-rich cheese and the
      texture will be similar to eating Cheez-Whiz!

      Petite Crème purchasers will not find the words
      "Greek" or "Yogurt" anywhere on the labels on these
      new containers which will retail for $1.89 each.

      Nor will they find the words "Roly" or "Poly" or

      Petite Crème, just like Greek Yogurt, will contain
      a naturally occurring dairy-milk opiate called
      casomorphin. USDA welcomes Stonyfield as America's
      new drug pusher. Are you destined to become one of
      Stonyfield's new pudding addicts?

      Petite crème. This pudding does sound irresistible!

      *     *     *     *

      ‎"I fear that we shall be obliged to leave this pudding."
      ― Beatrix Potter, The Roly-Poly Pudding

      ***Copy & Post Column to Facebook & Other Social Networking Sites***

      Robert Cohen

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