Nothing Petite About Bulking Your Body by Eating Creme
"Experts are clueless."
- a Steve Jobs oxymoron
* * * *
Dairy "experts" (oxy-morons) and department of education
"experts" (just plain morons) have joint-ventured their
cluelessness to a new extreme by introducing Chobani's
Greek yogurts to America's school lunchrooms, believing
that children need dairy to be healthy, and will enjoy
their growth-hormone rich meals.
Can things get worse for little cow's milk-consuming humans?
Petite? Crème? Anybody see the new oxymoron?
Ready to take advantage of accelerating consumer ignorance
through taste bud pleasure, Stonyfield will be coming out
with a new summer treat which they will call Petite Crème.
In 2007, Greek Yogurt captured less than 1 percent
of the United States market. Seven years later in 2014,
Greek-style yogurt sales account for 47 percent of
supermarket yogurt sales, and for good reason.
American consumers in their rush to become Hindenburgs
(blimps) love eating thick/creamy fruit-filled desserts
for breakfast, lunch, and snacks while deluding themselves
that they are eating health food.
The label will depict a spoon standing straight up
amidst a container of thick cheese-like pus, and
that is just what this new product is, according to
Stonyfield. It's sweetened cream-rich cheese and the
texture will be similar to eating Cheez-Whiz!
Petite Crème purchasers will not find the words
"Greek" or "Yogurt" anywhere on the labels on these
new containers which will retail for $1.89 each.
Nor will they find the words "Roly" or "Poly" or
Petite Crème, just like Greek Yogurt, will contain
a naturally occurring dairy-milk opiate called
casomorphin. USDA welcomes Stonyfield as America's
new drug pusher. Are you destined to become one of
Stonyfield's new pudding addicts?
Petite crème. This pudding does sound irresistible!
* * * *
"I fear that we shall be obliged to leave this pudding."
― Beatrix Potter, The Roly-Poly Pudding
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