-NITTANY PUSSYCAT OR LYING KING?
- NITTANY PUSSYCATS
Penn State's official mascot is the Nittany Lion.
Has this giant feline exhausted one of its nine lives?
A few months ago, I was invited to participate in a milk
debate with dairy instructors from Penn State University.
I agreed to walk into the Nittany Lion's den.
A week before the scheduled event, I received word that
the debate would be replaced by a lecture. Seems that
they could not find a professor willing to go one-on-one
On Wednesday night, I arrived at Penn's State's beautiful
campus and readied myself for the lecture. Two weeks
of moderate spring-like temperatures and I was unlucky
enough to arrive to a record low in which breath freezes
as it leaves one's mouth. I did not expect much of a
crowd, but was pleased to have a few hundred attendees.
The entire front row was filled with dairy students. Many
dairy professors sat in the audience.
At the beginning of my talk, I asked for a volunteer, and
Amy, a dairy major, raised her hand. I handed her a bottle
of Heineken beer and asked her to scrape off the label.
As she was doing so, I explained to the crowd that
eighty percent of milk protein is casein, the same glue
used to hold a label to a bottle of beer. Amy never did
scrape off the entire label during the two+ hours of my talk.
Tenacious glue, right?
After the lecture, I took back the bottle of beer from Amy.
I placed the bottle in its original bag and threw it in the
garbage. My fourteen-year-old daughter (Sarah) was
a witness to this action.
One or more of the dairy students may have taken that single
bottle and filed police a report. The claim was that "Robert
Cohen was supplying liquor to Penn State students."
There is at least one Penn State Lion who is a Penn State Liar.
Just for the record: Filing a false report is a felony offense.
This act may very well lead to arrest, conviction, and expulsion
from Penn State.
When one cannot attack the message, one attacks the messenger.
Although the Dead Sea Scrolls reveal that Jesus was an Essene,
and a vegetarian, the King James translation of an earlier Biblical
text teaches that Jesus fed the masses with one fish. One day,
Penn State dairy majors may be taught (along with their
other dairy lies and propaganda) that Robert Cohen got all
of the dairy majors drunk with one bottle of beer.
I received a call from Alex Weininger, a reporter for Penn
State's student paper. She told me that there was an incident
report filed with the police department (Incident #450).
Her EMAIL: alex529@...
I called the school police department (814-863-1111) to explain
that somebody with an agenda filed a false complaint. I asked
for a copy of the complaint, but was told that I could not have it.
Officer Sucheski is the officer who took the original complaint.
I spoke to Sucheski's supervisor, and learned that Sucheski will
not be able to speak with me until Sunday evening at 7PM.
LION KING OR LYING KING
The police department will not give me the name of the student(s)
who filed the complaint. Nor will they give me a copy of the
accusation(s). Although the Sixth Amendment of the
Constitution of the United States of America guarantees an
individual these basic rights, Penn State's Dairy Department,
working in conjunction with the police is the real King of the Jungle.
I look forward to Penn State's continuing investigation.
One or more immature Nittany kittys will continue to lap up milk.
A twelve-ounce glass of beer contains 146 calories, zero
fat, and zero cholesterol. A twelve-ounce glass of milk contains
225 calories, 12 grams of fat, and 50 milligrams of cholesterol.
The NOTMILK beer incident: to be continued.