Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

Guess Who is Now Vegan?

Expand Messages
  • Robert
    Guess Who is Now Vegan? I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms. - Ellen DeGeneres Like
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 1, 2013
      Guess Who is Now Vegan?

      "I became vegan because I saw footage of what really
      goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms."
      - Ellen DeGeneres

      Like magic mushrooms sprouting in enchanted places
      fertilized by Rand Paul filibusters, guess which
      two women have emerged from the closet to declare
      that they are now vegan?

      Hint: Both are very much in the public eye, and each
      one has been named as a possible presidential candidate
      for 2016.

      The first one was just a matter of time. She is
      married to the vegan ex-president who made the
      change of life while looking death in the face
      after a severe heart attack scare. Hillary still
      lives with Mr. Bill, and yes, she is now vegan.

      The second one is more of a surprise, but ever since
      she got involved with school lunch programs and
      America's obesity epidemic, Michelle Obama has become
      inspired by Mr. Clinton's change of lifestyle, and
      is showing great wisdom. Her two daughters, Maneeka
      and Obliqua have joined her.

      Had he survived a Florida psychopath's point-blank
      range marksmanship skill and been adopted by Barack
      (as the son Barack never had), Trayvon might have
      shed his hoodie for a more traditional thobe or bisht
      worn by his new dad when relaxing in the executive
      mansion's family wing and become vegan in the process.

      So far as I am concerned, Michelle has always been
      both the brains and strength of the Obama family. I
      would love to see Hillary and her run on the same
      ticket four years from now.

      My own governor (Chris Christie from Nu Joisey) has
      declared that he might also explore a vegan lifestyle
      since the Clinton and Obama wives are leading the way.

      OK, none of the above has really happened yet, but
      on this special day, a guy can fantasize, right?

      When did you begin to doubt me? Probably when
      I suggested that Chris Christie might end his daily
      habit of eating a rack of cow ribs and the total
      Southern-fried population of an Arkansas chicken coop.

      Happy first day of April. Today is the eightieth
      anniversary of Germany's persecution of German Jews
      in which the Nazis declared a boycott of Jewish owned
      businesses, and that is no April Fools Day joke.

      Past Notmilk April Fool's Day columns:

      2001- 2005
















      "When a human being dies, there is a bridge they must cross
      to enter into Heaven. At the head of the bridge waits every
      animal that human encountered during their lifetime. The
      animals, based on how that person treated them, decide which
      humans may cross the bridgeÂ… and which are turned away."
      - An Indian legend

      Robert Cohen
    Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.