Dairy Princess Revelation
- Dairy Princess Revelation
"I recently had my annual physical examination, which I
get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me,
I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's
gravitational pull has become since 1990."
- Dave Barry
On Wednesday, February 20, 2013, I was shocked to discover
an article relating how Pennsylvania Dairy Princesses were
promoting milk. What really surprised me was the photo of the
princesses. Two out of the seven Princesses were not extremely
obese. How can that be? One of those two is relatively slim,
but she seems tall enough to play center for the new Brooklyn
Nets basketball franchise. In fairness to the dairy industry, I've
got to provide the evidence of my revelation:
The lone normal-sized female possessing skinny lady-like upper
arms must be a closet vegan (I am guessing), and possibly is
deceiving the dairy princess judges.
Despite the dairy industry claim that drinking milk makes one
skinny, that is simply not what milk was designed for. Milk
makes humans grow. Milk naturally contains growth hormones.
Dairy princesses usually drink more than their share of
cow growth hormones. The truth is captured whenever they
pose for photos.
The most powerful growth hormone in a cow's body (IGF-1)
is identical in structure and amino acid sequence as the
most powerful growth hormone in the human body (IGF-1).
Note to dairy execs: You cannot hide truth with lies.
One photo is better than a thousand deceitful words.
Do I hate dairy princesses? Of course not, silly wabbits!
I adore princesses. Here are two of my favorites, who
emBODY the true spirit and meaning of dairy consumption:
"Minor things can become moments of great
revelation when encountered for the first time."
- Margot Fonteyn