Groundhog Day 2009
- Groundhog Day 2009
My list of favorite movies includes Groundhog Day.
If you have not seen it, take my advice and do so.
I'll readily admit to having seen the film at least
20 times, and will view it again this year if it's
At approximately 7:25 AM, a groundhog will trek to
Gobbler's Notch to make the official prediction that
six more weeks of winter remain in 2009. Today's
celebration will mark the 123rd consecutive year that
Groundhog Day has been celebrated in Punxsutawney,
Come sunshine, rain, or snow, the groundhog's keeper
has assured us that their little rodent will see some
sort of shadow due to his enormously fattened bulk,
even though it's cloudy and snowing lightly in
Punxsutawney as this message is being posted at
The fix is in. They've been feeding him ice cream
during the "off season.
This past year, American consumers have been presented
with the dairy industry argument that consuming dairy
products helps people to lose weight, which makes
absolutely no sense, but makes for great press by
those whose job it is to deceive America into
On average, groundhogs weigh a little over five pounds
when they emerge from hibernation in the spring. After
a summer of eating, September weights can soar to ten
pounds. The largest wild (free and uncaged) groundhog
weighed in at fourteen pounds!
The bigger news has nothing to do with the eather. It's
why Punxsutawney Phil has become the Holstein cow of
groundhogs. He's the pig of litte furry hibernators. What
has Phil been munching on all winter while observing his
dairy-based weight loss program? Ice cream! The root of
our groundhog's obesity ain't roots. It's dairy!
Bill Deeley, the local funeral home director who emcees
Punxsutawney's much-publicized Groundhog Day Festival and
sees to Phil's needs 365 days out of the year, had this to
say about Phil's diet:
"He's naturally a vegetarian. But he loves ice cream and
Phil, the groundcow, weighs in at 15 pounds and measures
22 inches in length.
Could an overweight Phil be due to the powerful growth factors
in milk and dairy products? Groundhogs should not be eating a
diet of bovine growth hormones and high calorie-containing
saturated animal fat. Neither should humans, for that matter.
So...eyewitnesses will see Phil spring from his burrow and
report that he saw his own shadow. Winter continues for
everybody. Easy on the ice cream, or you and Phil might
look lousy in bathing suits next summer.