HOW TO CLONE A COW
Win a prize by guessing closest to the winning auction bid!
(Contest details at the end of this column)
This week, tens of thousands of dairy farmers and cheeseheads are
expected to converge upon Madison Wisconsin for the World Dairy
The highlight of this year's festival is an auction of a cloned cow
to be sold this Friday, October 6th at 7PM.
The cow has been cloned by the INFIGEN company. The next generation of
dairy cows will put an end to biodiversity. Imagine a world in which
everybody looked exactly the same. One day, every dairy cow in America
will be exactly the same. Cow or machine? This is our destiny.
Here is a chart explaining how to clone a cow:
(Don't try this at home, kids)
Some dairy farmers are excited by this technology.
Some know that it spells the end of the family farm.
Can a farmer with 40 cows compete with a factory farm containing 2000
of these gigantic super producers? Holstein cows now must be milked
three times per day because their udders grow to enormous proportions.
These creatures have been bred to deliver 30 or more quarts of milk each
day. One hundred years ago, the average cow milked only one quart per
day. Today's milk contains increased levels of powerful growth
hormones. Cows are modified creatures, designed to become bigger.
Those who drink the hormones in their body fluids respond the same way.
Slaughterhouse operators note that these cows are different. They can
break pelvic bones with their hands. Anybody notice soaring osteoporosis
rates? Cows mature earlier, and their milk contains more hormones.
Anybody notice earlier sexual maturity? The milk contains more protein.
Eighty percent of milk protein is casein, a tenacious glue. Anybody
note the doubling of asthma rates these past ten years? Milk proteins
have been linked to diabetes. Notice the diabetes epidemic? The new
milk contains increased amounts of a hormone (IGF-I) linked to
prostate, lung, and breast cancer. The new milk may very well contain a
prion, linked to Alzheimer's and Mad Cow Disease. The new milk has more
fat and cholesterol (got heart disease?). The new milk contains
a morphine-like substance (caso-morphin) that has been linked to
Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Today one out of five children takes
ritalin after having been diagnosed with ADD.
Cloned cows are good for dairy farms. They produce more milk.
The first cloned cow is expected to generate upwards of $25,000.
Let's have a contest. A free copy of the book MILK-The Deadly Poison
plus the book on tape (retail value, $40) to the individual guessing
closest to the actual auction price.
My guess is that the auction sale price will exceed the pre-auction
estimate. My guess is that Monsanto will make the symbolic winning bid
"As the company continues to perfect its cloning process, the price will
come down," said Jesus Martinez, Infigen's Director of Marketing.
You might want to let Jesus know how you feel about the new
Remember to submit your guesstimate of the winning bid
for the cloned cow! Send that bid to: