Happy June Dairy Month
- Happy June Dairy Month
June is the month for dads, grads and dairy ads.
Ads? That's right. June is National Dairy Month!
How is the rest of the world celebrating? Today Japan
will announce its 19th case of Mad Cow Disease. Today
Scotland will learn that 50 persons may have been
exposed to Mad Cow Disease through skin grafts. A
school in Canada (Alberta) is considering banning milk
because two of its students suffer potentially deadly
allergic reactions when exposed to bovine proteins. In
China, powdered milk continues to be removed from
shelves because of an excessive iodine content.
In America, the average liter of milk contains 319
million pus cells. so, in honor of June being National
Pus Month, we have a suggested motto for milk producers
to replace their absurd "Gotmilk?" campaign: Have you
had your billion (pus cells) today?
Get ready for milkmustachmania. An enormous campaign
is about to be waged. Make no mistake about it. This
is war. You are the intended target and the victim.
Make no mistake about what is coming. Your senses
are about to be bombarded by the well financed
and brilliantly planned dairy invasion.
Be prepared to read thousands of pro-dairy articles.
Next Wednesday's New York Times food section will probably
feature ice creams or cheeses. It happens every year
about this time. Be prepared to see thousands more
ads in newspapers and magazines, placed there by
those who induce the media with dollars to promote
You'll see nightly TV news stories extolling the
virtues of milk. You will be told that milk cures
halitosis and zits. You'll see happy cows grazing in
fields, and baseball players sporting milk mustaches.
They (the National Fluid Milk Processors Promotion
Board) have been working for many months, planning
their media assault upon our sensibilities.
Children will soon be leaving schools for summer
vacations, and the forced milk consumption program
will take a break until those kids return next
September. The dairy industry solution? Feed them
more concentrated milk products over the summer.
Production at cheese and ice cream plants shifts
into overtime mode as liquid milk consumption
Have a happy dairy-free month!