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June is National Pus Month

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  • Robert Cohen
    June is National Pus Month and we have a suggested motto for milk producers: Have you had your billion (pus cells) today? Today is the first day of June, and
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 1 3:02 AM
      June is National Pus Month and we have a suggested motto
      for milk producers: Have you had your billion (pus cells)
      today?

      Today is the first day of June, and you know what
      that means, right?

      June is the month for dads, grads and dairy ads.
      Ads? That's right. June is National Dairy Month!

      So, now that National Dairy Month is here again, let's
      pay tribute to the folks who give us pus with hormones.
      The dairy industry has one thing to celebrate in June
      of 2004. The average number of pus cells per liter of
      milk has fallen for the first time in many years by
      a factor of about 3 million cells per liter! In 2003,
      the average number of pus cells in one liter of
      American milk was only 319 million. My sincere congrats
      to all dairy producers! (Next year's drop will astound
      almost everyone. Readers of this column should not
      be surprised. As the use of the genetically engineered
      bovine growth hormone comes to an end, the cows will
      be less stressed, so that milk will contain less pus.)

      Get ready for milkmustachmania. An enormous campaign
      is about to be waged. Make no mistake about it. This
      is war. You are the intended target and the victim.

      Even that new absurd formula disaster movie (The
      Day After Tomorrow) contains a scene in which one
      of the good guys drinks a tall glass of Farmland
      milk (container prominently displayed). When the
      world turns to ice, all of the milk turns to ice
      cream. The only good thing that comes from this
      boring dialogue-poor movie is that even the cream
      turns to ice.

      Make no mistake about what is coming. Your senses
      are about to be bombarded by the well financed
      and brilliantly planned dairy invasion.

      Be prepared to read thousands of pro-dairy articles.
      Next Wednesday's New York Times food section will probably
      feature ice creams or cheeses. It happens every year
      about this time. Be prepared to see thousands more
      ads in newspapers and magazines, placed there by
      those who induce the media with dollars to promote
      their products.

      You'll see nightly TV news stories extolling the
      virtues of milk. You will be told that milk cures
      halitosis and zits. You'll see happy cows grazing in
      fields, and baseball players sporting milk mustaches.

      They (the National Fluid Milk Processors Promotion
      Board) have been working for many months, planning
      their media assault upon our sensibilities.

      Children will soon be leaving schools for summer
      vacations, and the forced milk consumption program
      will take a break until those kids return next
      September. The dairy industry solution? Feed them
      more concentrated milk products over the summer.
      Production at cheese and ice cream plants shifts
      into overtime mode as liquid milk consumption
      decreases.

      Great time to increase the price of milk to over
      $4 per gallon, dairy-dudes. You'll be paying the
      price for that poor economic decision shortly. Hit
      Americans in the pocketbook and they have long
      memories.

      Happy dairy month!

      Robert Cohen
      http://www.notmilk.com
      201-967-7001
      God's Nutritionist at 30% Off: http://tinyurl.com/357h3
      Order SoyToy-Toll-Free: 888-NOT-MILK (888-668-6455)
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