487-THE SCOOP ON THE POOP
- Feb 25, 2001YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENTS
Discussing bowel movements can be rather unpleasant.
Doctors rarely ask you this critically important
question. Hippocrates taught that the state and form of
your bowel movements are the most revealing clues to the
nature of your physiology. That should be the primary
question out of the mouths of physicians and healers
during their examinations.
Most cat and every dog I've seen have great bowel
movements. They don't need toilet paper. I've witnessed
horses and elephants, barnyard animals, little mammals
and large mammals all doing their duty, and they all have
the same thing in common. They defecate quickly, and
their "droppings" are firm.
Why are most humans the exception to this regular rule?
Why do cows and buffalos make "chips," and humans
Did you ever consider the consistency of the yellowish
goop inside of a jar of Cheeze Whiz? Could that be
the same consistency of the digested food leaving your
Constipation or diarrhea? Internal sludge or internal
blockage. In order to find the cure, one must first
determine the cause.
When you have an unknown disease, physicians often
take samples of your body wastes, run tests, diagnose,
then medicate. Isn't there an easier way for you to experience
"normal" bowel movements? You're damned right, there is!
Eighty percent of milk protein is CASEIN, the mucous
producer. CASEIN from cow's milk is a foreign protein.
When you eat this antigen, your body's immune system
manufactures an antibody. The antibody is a histamine.
As a result of histamine production, many people open
their medicine cabinets or rush to their pharmacies in
search of antihistamines.
Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on your pasta and ten hours later,
you'll have produced enough mucous to fill the empty
quart container of Ben & Jerry's Nitty Gritty. Most
Americans continuously eat one form or another of dairy
products. The average American eats the equivalent of 29.2
ounces per day from this food group. For them, bad
bowel movements are a way of life. They have never known
what it is like to be regular. They never will if they continue
The cure is so simple. One week COMPLETELY off dairy,
and you'll be as regular as FIDO. Is it not worth the
Give this embarrassing newsletter to a friend or relative.
Dare them to take the NOTMILK challenge for just
seven days. If you truly love them and wish for them to
have a meaningful learning experience, treat them to pizza
on day eight. On day nine, they'll return to the messy
sludge, and experience that which most Americans deny:
MILK does NOT do the body good.
What I am about to suggest may have animal rights
activists protesting at my door. Feed FIDO two slices of
pizza for his next meal. That gooey mozzarella should do
amazing things to his regularity. WARNING: For the next
few walks, leave behind the pooper-scooper and bring
along a spatula with you. Oh yes, bring along Charmin
too. Your dog will make the connection. Will you?